First of all, I would like to say WOW.

I liked how there was a ton of description, it helped me form a picture of the action inside my head.

Azalea is not a common name, but how you used it made it work. Now, I couldn't figure out what time period this was supposed to be set in, but with how she acts, I would have to guess somewhere around the 1980's?

Subere I think was written so that us the readers would sort of hate him, but still get why he was valuable to the story. I especially thought that "he would give a long, monotone speech which always boiled down to it's magic bitch!" was funny, I liked how you had Azalea describe how Subere acted so that we could see some more of his character than just a outward description.

When Azalea goes back through her memories I thought it would have helped a bit if there was a more definitive line break so that the memories could be more seperate therefore allowing them to be a bit longer.

Overall, it was really well written, and I hope to see the others soon!

Cheers,
Jenna A. L. Marie