Hi, great start! I've totally bought into the hot stepbrother thing since Paul Rudd in Clueless ;)

Just a few little tips: The all caps title is a little off-putting...it seems a little shouty. Like when my grandma accidentally write on my facebook wall in all caps...a little over done haha

Second, there is a very popular story on here called Against All Odds...not the same plot, but if you want to make an impression that isn't initially "Oh no, she's not plagiarizing is she..." (cause it's been an issue on this site, unfortunately), maybe consider changing it up a bit?

Half the battle is getting people to just click on your story and give it a fighting chance, those were just some thoughts. Good luck!