Reviews for Recovering
Grains and Oats chapter 1 . 11/7/2012
Hmm. I would like to see more of this poem. I don't know if you were planning to add to it, but I feel like I was really left with a cliff-hanger. A little hint at some background information would be helpful too, I think.

One thing I would say you could improve upon is how you present the subject material. I feel like there isn't a lot of description in how/why/who's feeling this, kind of like I mentioned before.

This may just be personal preference, but I feel like some of the sentences you used to get your lines to rhyme were rather dry. This was most prominent in "That, to me, is a most comforting sound./I know they'll always be there if I'm being brought down." for me. The rhyming drama/angst poem has been done to death, which makes it kind of hard to relate to. If you went outside of your comfort zone, perhaps, and tried to get your lines to rhyme in not so obvious ways, I think it would really improve the poem.

That being said, I think this has potential. None of the rhymes seemed forced, like you see so often on this website. Rhyming "list," "hit," and "missed" stood out to me in particular - I don't think you see people rhyming those too often, and you pulled it off quite well.

Keep it up!