Reviews for Jasmine
bacih chapter 1 . 7/21/2005
ok i agree with nathalsa wholeheartedly. ur story was flawless. i loved it!
murky chapter 1 . 6/28/2005
I'm incredibly impressed with the way you write. Some parts had me tearing, and stories haven't done that to me for a while now. Just thought I'd drop a review with my appreciation. Love how you kept it real. Not everyone will always love the new addition to the family. Though I would think that Julia would slowly lighten up after she realised that Jasmine was there to stay. Think the story was missing a bit of dialogue on Julia's part as well. We don't really get to see her character at all, well, she's not that important, I guess. yeah, the story is very much centred on the two leads. Which is probably why there was so much emotion in the story, no slow bits with awkward parts with people who we (as readers) might not think important. So it's a good story overall! heh. Though you might want to separate the chapters? Instead of just one long chapter... ) Thanks muchly for writing it!
nathalsa chapter 1 . 6/27/2005
WHAT THE HELL? Are you kidding me? This story doesn't belong on FictionPress at ALL- it belongs on bookshelves! You're an amazing writer and this was an awesome story. Please, do the world a favor: keep writing! It's very rare that I find a story that I adore and have NO criticism for, but guess what: I have none! Nada! This is an AMAZING story.
Insanity Da Best Policy chapter 1 . 6/18/2005
Hey! Wonderful story! Really well written and all that! I kinda guessed that it was Calvin. But I really liked it! My imagination of Josua was pretty different from your portrait of him... but it was nice pic. And Jazz as well. I think Jerry ... I dunno. I sent a mail to your mail id which exists in . I dunno if you'll recieve it ... but ... are you going to complete Jerry's story? If you are ... then please inform me. Cuz I really wanna read it ... but no point in reading if it doesn't have an ending and all...

Anyway! Wonderful writing!

Janet.
becxfok01 chapter 1 . 5/6/2005
What a wonderful and warm story here! I really liked the story, esp how the couple met. Jerry and Joan are awesome. Helene sounds ok, and Serah simply sounds ghastly. Anyways, thanks for writing this story. Well done with it!
emerald chapter 1 . 4/29/2005
oh lord! that was perfect...they are so great for each other! and omg i want jerry! you got his phone number? seriously he's so ugh alright i'll stop blabbering and am looking forward just a bit for jerry's story...i mean i will obviously be jelous...but *sigh* life's never fair...and you have got talent hun! you need to publish this story as soon as you get the chance! good job on it!
Cowgurl4God chapter 1 . 4/19/2005
I loved the story. If you write more like this I'm absolutely sure that you're going to be my most favorite author.
jan chapter 1 . 4/19/2005
wonderful! i love it. it's well written and has good description. sometimes it's funny. lol jasmine reminds of myself, clumsy at times. anyways, great story! *applauds*
tickledblue chapter 1 . 3/22/2005
aw, *sniffs* this story is so sweet! awesome, awesome, awesome job! :)
LimeJuiceTub chapter 1 . 3/19/2005
Brilliant! I enjoyed reading that enormously! You combined Jasmine's professional and personal life very well. The only thing was that at the beginning I was very confused - I didn't realise that Jasmine had run out of petrol - and I was very confused as to why Joan was 40ish since Joshua was 31 - I originally thought Joan was Joshua's mother, then I thought she was his sister - and I didn't understand their living arrangements at first. But by the end, I did. That was a really enjoyable read! :)
ravenscribe chapter 1 . 3/16/2005
i like your story so far, there is just one thing i've found wrong that i can think of. in the first chapter when jasmine put a pencil in her lips for safe-keeping, later a pen fell out of her lips.
Trietta chapter 1 . 1/28/2005
Great story! Lovely characters! I love 'em all, especially Jerry!
mahoshojo chapter 1 . 1/8/2005
Awesome Story! it was so sweet... i look forward to reading My Brother's Keeper. hehe.
KatyRose chapter 1 . 1/1/2005
hello?
KatyRose chapter 1 . 12/21/2004
Wow. I really need to read the next in the series once it is put up. I just finished reading this (it took me about two hours) and loved it more than I can express. The word choice was beyond excellent, I loved the names(ah, blissful little details!), the plot was very well laid out, and it had all of the elements of a bestseller from start to finish. Also, I could see it all in my mind, every little pixel of it. The details are so vivid, and it captures yuor imagination, sweeping it to new heights. I will definitely stay tuned for the next installment, and I hope (though not much hope is needed, since this piece shows that the writer is EXTREMELY talented and capable) that the next work is as good as the last. Never stop reaching for those stars. as a matter of fact, they should be struggling to touch your brilliant work. Two thumbs up, fifteen (not five) blinding stars, and anything else that signifies creative genius in the form of a story!
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