|Reviews for Something sinister|
| RavenclawMoose chapter 1 . 1/22/2013
This was very interesting. I'm not sure how I feel about the italicized bits. I think they fit well in the first stanza and added to the air of creepiness, but then they just felt like they interrupted the flow of the piece in the second stanza, and then they disappeared altogether after the third. I did like them in the third stanza on a second read-through, but they're still just jarring in the second stanza. The more I look at it, the more I like what you did with the tone shift between the third and fourth stanzas signified by the disappearance of the italics. Overall, I like the mood of this, and the message of being hunted by a monster from nightmares while no one listens or cares is certainly quite frightening. That second stanza just does not flow well. I think part of it may be that in every other stanza you reference "we" or "you," which makes it sound like you're addressing the reader, but then in the second stanza, you move to a more removed description that does not address the reader, so it is out of place with the rest of the poem.
On the whole, I rather liked it.
| Felrain chapter 1 . 11/16/2012
Ohhh, very nice! You did really well with this, keep it up!