|Reviews for Confessions of a Teenage Crazy|
| so silver bright chapter 6 . 7/1/2013
Hiiii! It's me. Your ever absent beta reader. I'M SO SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING FOR LIKE A MONTH OR TOW D: but here I am! Now, on with beta-ing
-over here you "know" could be changed
-tiny details,remember :)
I love this story! THat's all I could come up with for this chapter, but I'll be sure to get the others soon! Promise! Just remind me if I disappear for a few weeks again.
| so silver bright chapter 5 . 4/26/2013
HI! It's me. Your beta. Who is giving you a LONG OVERDUE beta-thing. I'm far too lazy to PM you about this. So, I'm gonna just put this in a review. I don't think I beta'd the last chapter, or the one before that, so I'm just gonna do it here all in all
- details! remember, small ones count!
- remember to describe surroundings
- you have no idea how hilarious this was for me; thank you for making my crappy day less crappy
that's all I got. So. I'll beta the rest in a little bit. If I beta'd this, I don't remember... but now I'm going to have time! I just have to get through testing at school first
Anyways, I'm still lovin' this story! Oh, Jackie XD
| closed.quarters chapter 2 . 2/13/2013
I know I may have sounded quite harsh in my review of chapter 1, but it's only because I know this could be a great great story. Your chapter is off to a great start, very funny! But I have a few comments..
Things are getting weird again! Why is Jackie talking about whether her brother is attractive or not?
How come Sam lives with them? I thought all her siblings were boys, and Samantha was her best friend.
Why are Sam and Bella going to a dinner organized by Jackie’s dad? It sounded like a family dinner of sorts, so it doesn’t make sense to me.
When you have the dialogue “I look horrible” and so on, it’s unclear who’s talking to whom. After reading the chapter a second time I realize it is Sam and Jackie, but it’s still unclear. I feel like a confused reader. And Bella got changed in Jacky’s home? Does she live there too!?
To me, this line feels too impersonal for a sister to say: “Jake and his twin Brent are the spitting image of Michael, except Michael is two years older.” … you might want to try “my twin brothers Jake and Brent Brent are the spitting image of Michael, except Michael is two years older.”
Jackie is commenting on the looks of another brother as well? Her twin, at that! A bit weird. Also, aren’t twins usually very close? It’s odd that they don’t live in the same house.
PERFECT ENDING FOR THE CHAPTER! I wouldn't move a comma! Lots of love.
| closed.quarters chapter 1 . 2/13/2013
I'm going to be brutally honest with you! Warning: you might hate me for it. Here it goes:
I can see why the readers are dropping.
Just with the first few lines I can tell your target audience is teenagers, and my being over 20 (been there, read that), I was reluctant to read on. I skimmed through it and skipped to chapter two. Halfway through that, I went back to chapter 1 and read it for real this time.
I think you’ve said too much about the characters… you’re not giving the readers a chance to discover the little things. That’s my main concern here. Too much info about characters. What makes people click “next” is their need to know more about the plot or the main characters. This felt more like an introductory chapter, which is exactly what it should be, but it didn’t give me the urge to know more about the girls.
And why/how exactly did she come to live with her brother instead of her father? If that’s a plot point, then maybe you can leave it for later on… or if it’s just background info, maybe explain a little more, clarify the situation.
I found it a little weird that she asked “what did we do last night” and then recalled cliff diving. And how did they go cliff diving and then end up at the end?
I also found the part about Sam telling her she’s sexy and gorgeous a little off … it went really weird in chapter 2. I’ll explain further in my comment there.
PS: I’m a little confused whether this is a journal entry (since you posted the date at the beginning of the chapter), or we’re inside Jackie’s head… but it’s not that important. I think it’ll get clearer with the next chapters, so it’s fine.
PPS: I spotted a typo “converses and that SnapBack THAT. She never goes anywhere without that SnapBack hat.” I'm guessing that was meant to be hat. I don’t know if there are more though.
| Stonehartdreamer chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
This looks promising. I like Jackie. Keep it up!
| Jason Bloom chapter 9 . 1/25/2013
I just had the worst finals week of my life. My best friend has gotten so whiny and bothersome i haven't answered my phone in a week. I am tired, run down, a stressed beyond belief, so believe me when i say that reading this, i cracked a smile, laughed, and finally found a way to relieve the tension. Thank you so much, please never stop writing.
| SunsetSprite chapter 1 . 1/14/2013
Iteresting consept here! I like how you made them all different, Sam being the tomboy and Bella the girly one. You could say the Jackie is in the middle of that, yes? I find it very sweet and cool!
Although, one thing struck me. You said that the father divorced the mother, but then in another sentence you said that she died. So, is she dead or divorsed?
Other than that, I like it! XD Favourite character is Sam! Considering I'm a tomboy, ((well, Okatu.)).
Cant wait for more!
| Guest chapter 2 . 11/24/2012
i really love this chapter!:-) its introducing new characters and the plot is getting thicker and u can really see a new side of the characters,witch i think is great!:-):-):-) hope u continue!
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/24/2012
im liking this story so far. i have no idea where its going! but that kinda adds to the mystery:-) i think that the characters are little unoriginal but if u put little twists On them and make them ur own then i think that would be gr8 !