Reviews for Rearden: To Chase a Dream: May 2011
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 3/30/2013
Really interesting story, although I think you could do with some scene breaks in some places. At the moment, everything feels almost pushed together. There's no break, no chance for the reader to kind of pause between one scene and the other.
[Meegan had accompanied them to each fence thereafter. She chattered away with Rearden while Solomon remained silent but for the occasional necessary command to his repair partner. Then, when the time came to eat dinner, Meegan was sent to ask Rearden to come eat with them.] Found that a little confusing. So Meegan was with them, then she was sent to them? Maybe make that a bit more clear.
Some of it was a tad confusing, so maybe just read through it, think about how a reader, new to it, would see it - especially as you tend to have quite a lot going on and a number of different characters, it's a little difficult at times to keep up with them all.
I do like this for establishing Rearden a bit more, but I feel like at points it's hard to get a solid idea of him. There's a tendency to tell, rather than show; I think you can build on his emotions and reactions a bit more to make the reader feel more invested in him. Hope, as always, that this helps.