Reviews for Alasdair: An Adventure That Began With Death: July 2013
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 2/9/2013
Just wondering, how old is Alasdair meant to be? I think it's one of the things that make the stories a little shaky; I've mentioned it before and I know they're all part of a larger story, but I do think it's hard to get a handle on the characters. Some of the dialogue feels just a tad forced, [Watching Ma and then Callum attend to each of us when we got ourselves hurt. Realizing that a doctor will always be needed in our world, to soothe hurts and heal wounds, no matter what the economy is and no matter what happens.] just doesn't sit right. I think, too, that sometimes it slips towards telling rather than showing with the character's; again, it's hard to get a handle on their emotions and feelings. Maybe try focusing a bit more on that sort of thing between the dialogue, especially with stories like this where it's more about the family and their relationships rather than events going on around them. Hope that helps!