Reviews for The Overseers
C. Richard Crawg chapter 14 . 2/22/2013
I think I may have found a small continuity error. You said that no one can hold an Overseer's sword except for the Overseer it was forged for. However, in chapter 12 Kibila hands Rovla's sword to her. But on the happy side of things, you did a great job with the fight scene between Kibila and Zeali.
Order and Chaos - Qui Iudicant chapter 12 . 2/20/2013
One of your best chapters! I loved the descriptions of the different sould 'layouts' that Power was talking about, and I know what mine would be, should I be an Overseer! Guess what it is? That's right! You've guessed it (Not! XD), a gigantic SPACESHIP! LOL

Well, anyway this was an awesome chapter!
Order and Chaos - Qui Iudicant chapter 11 . 2/20/2013
I would suggest using the word 'Evil' instead of bad for when describing the duel nature of the souls. Reason being is that I feel that the word 'Evil' makes it more menacing than 'Bad'. All in all, it's a great story!
Order and Chaos - Qui Iudicant chapter 7 . 2/19/2013
I was reading this after watching a Youtube fight of Pre Visla vs Darth Maul, so I was imagining Kibila's sword sounding like the Darksaber as she fought against the 'aliens'? I was imagining them as human, but I could be wrong.
Order and Chaos - Qui Iudicant chapter 1 . 2/18/2013
Cool story, I'll be reading more to find what this is all about! ;)
SweetMichaela chapter 10 . 1/22/2013
Ooooh, this is sooo intriguing! Zeali sure seems like the most evil person you would never want to meet. But, sometimes, I wish I had her eyes! xD
Still, how come nobody noticed Zeali's presence on the Overseer main planet? Also, was she an Overseer before turning mad with power?
Anyway, this story surely needs more readers, it's beautiful!
C. Richard Crawg chapter 9 . 1/13/2013
I just have one question; is Kibila's apprentice named Rovla or Rolva? Because you've spelled it both ways in most chapters. Also I am officially ready to favorite this story; I'm thoroughly enjoying it.
SweetMichaela chapter 8 . 1/7/2013
Impressive! A very good chapter indeed. I gotta say, I laughed a bit at Salera slapping Kibila in her sleep, an when the latter one had to scream at the sleeper so she would wake up. x3
And now, the party pooper has entered the scene! Will she destroy the entire universe? Is Kibila going to stop her before any great harm is done? Will she manage to kill an Overseer? 0.0
Guess we'll find that out. Great chapter. Keep it up!(that evil one already looks like a badass :S )
C. Richard Crawg chapter 6 . 12/30/2012
Bravo, a good chapter. As far as your ability to write fight scenes goes, I actually thought that was pretty good. I think the villian of the story should be introduced soon, though, or at least something "out of the ordinary" should happen.
SweetMichaela chapter 6 . 12/28/2012
Heheh, looks like I found another awesome story. A damn good one! And so we meet again(lol).
*Lets "criticism" flow through self*(jk)
Aah, running away from tehnology(completely or not really?) and focusing on martial arts, sword swinging and energy manipulation. Mostly the opposite of what Sci-Fi is these days. Mostly. This caught me from the very beginning.
Ooh, space travel! Or should I say... mind triggered space travel? Love it! But for normal people(I mean non-Overseers)... how is traveling between planets possible? What kind of methods do they use? Or do they ALL travel like that(which i highly doubt)?
Now the characters. This concept of yours with the characters living hundreds of years... I've met it in other universes too, and it certainly suits your story. Maybe that is even a way of saying that 'old habits die hard'(talking about using martial arts and sword art completely instead of any guns, these two being around for centuries). These characters look like such badasses, and I started liking Kibila a lot too! And these combinations with cats(oooh, the tails) makes me love this even more. I love cats AND dogs. So friendship with wolves makes me smile even more :3
But I have to tell ya, these people reminded me in some way of the Protoss, which are from another universe(from a game).
Guess I already gave ya some questions so here's another one: when are you going to start talking about this 'ancient evil'? I'm not really trying to rush you or something, it's just that it would be interesting to see someone(or something) try to ruin the relative peace in the universe(not that I would like it, I'm always on the good side). That's what everything's about these days, the never-ending battle between good and evil. :/
And the conclusion of this long-ass review (didn't mean to make it that long, just got excited by the story's idea):
You keep surprising me. If you ever published a novel, even if it were published only in your country, I would buy it. Hell, I would. I love the characters, I love the life style, I like how this gives me a feeling of... I don't know... honor? They all seem so brave, loyal and honorable. Yes, to me, honor is a great deal. It keeps all balanced if respected. This is it for now. xD (Longest review in historyyyyyy)
C. Richard Crawg chapter 4 . 12/16/2012
Good luck with your bet, but please don't let it interfere with the quality of the story.
MurphysDragon chapter 3 . 12/1/2012
I really enjoyed reading this chapter. Update soon! _
C. Richard Crawg chapter 3 . 12/1/2012
You know, even the chapters that are written "just for fun" contribute to the storyline by helping the reader identify with the character. I'm enjoying this story, and I can't wait to see what you have in store for Kibila.
Guest chapter 2 . 11/27/2012
I am more than happy to review and follow (this looks like it's going to be a good story) but there's not enough of it out yet to know whether or not to favorite it. But if you keep it coming and keep it good (and I have no doubt you will) I'll probably favorite it soon.
MurphysDragon chapter 2 . 11/27/2012
A good start. Can't wait to see what happens next.
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