|Reviews for Stuck In The Moment|
| Alyce Reide chapter 1 . 1/29/2020
I like this! Aside from the grammar (always hits me when I've been reading fanfiction), I like...let's see.
I like how it starts in 1202, then goes to 2012. (I also like how you're clear about it. There is zero confusion about time. Also, the nice symmetry between the years. Is there a storyline reason for that?)
I like how Adrian suddenly appears in 2012 when you already know he's from 1202- or maybe even further back! (I happen to enjoy some time travel, especially when paradoxes are dealt with well.)
I like how it seems that Tamsyn will end up with Adrian, especially if there's a twist and she doesn't. If she does, it's horribly cliché but it's a cliché I like and think is cute.
I like how you sprinkle the description in but still get it all in there early. I always have trouble with that; apparently I don't get description in early enough. :D. Better than info-dumping appearances without personality the first time a character comes in, yeah?
I REALLY like your descriptions! "Tanned blonde cheerleader without the cheerleader bit" tells you Jasmine is probably a bit harsh on her friends. "Fatally pretty" and "beat the arrogance out of" makes me think of Diana Wynne Jones's Howl, or that boy who's in a ton of romances, the one who the heroine is interested in until she finds out he's a total jerk. Though some of what you're doing here makes me think maybe Sin (interesting nickname...) ends up with Zane. ("Why do you hate me so much? *Because I don't* especially.)
Good job writing that romance novel scene. I don't like it, which is a pretty good indication that you did it right! No offense; I'm just not a fan of over-the-top romances. Subtle, that's what I like. Like this seems to be so far!
Least favorite thing about this story: One chapter, published in 2012. I really hope you plan to write more. If you need help with where to go next, I can think of a (figurative) dozen things off the top of my head.
You're lucky I'm not fond of logging out, otherwise you'd check this and see about 50 anonymous reviews in addition to this one, all saying "this is so great!" asking you to update. :[)
| Mizuno Sapphie chapter 1 . 12/11/2012
Oooooh it looks like it's getting good! c: