|Reviews for The pocket dragon|
| Jordannyypoo chapter 1 . 5/22/2013
Hey girl! You followed me so... here I am! xD I think this could be really cool! Like, legit. I hope to see you update soon! :) Deuces!
| SamaraL chapter 1 . 5/9/2013
I came across your name in some of the reviews for other stories and after checking your profile, thought to read and see. The concept is promising, however, your writing is more like summarizing everything, rather than telling a story. I agree with one of the reviewers that you would benefit from a Beta. It would be really great if you could either use this style more like a prologue type of thing and then move into a more descriptive way of drawing your characters and telling the story. To me it feels like a tale in the making. As if this is a storyteller talking a to a group of kids about some hero myth...
I would like to see what comes next. Don't be discouraged and don't stop writing.
If you can, please read and review my story. This is my first attempt at real fiction as well.
| Spriggs chapter 1 . 3/26/2013
Hi, thanks for following my story.
I like your prologue about the man making the dragon figurine.
Will you be updating anytime soon?
| Amy B. R. Mead chapter 1 . 1/10/2013
Hi, I just saw that you favorited and followed Dragon Marked and I thought I'd come check out your story :)
I really like this concept, though your grammar and punctuation are a bit shaky and I would suggest a beta reader. Here are a few examples.
[The heat from the fire is overwhelmingly hot.] You really don't need "hot" there. You could just say, "The forge's heat is overwhelming."
[This man has been many things, a beggar, a peddler, shopkeeper, and now he owns a unique little store in the early twentieth century.] I would suggest "The man has been many things in his lifetime - beggar, peddler, shopkeeper - and now, in the early twentieth century, he owns this unique little store."
You need a period after "Defluo" and either a period or a comma at the end of the previous paragraph.
Since you've already said that a little girl is born, you don't have to say again that the child is a girl. You can just say, "The girl has hair black as night, rosy cheeks and porcelain skin."
But anyway, I really like your concept and I would love to see where you go with it :)
Would you mind terribly reviewing Dragon Marked? I like to hear what people think of my stories.
| J.K. Weaver chapter 1 . 1/7/2013
I figured that I would check out your story as a sort of you review me I'll review you sort of thing. Not really expecting to like it that much...and then I read it. this has a great set up for a very interesting story. you have not updated in over a month...I sincerely hope that changes haha I really think this has great potential.