|Reviews for Without|
| Oria Giora chapter 1 . 1/5/2013
[And those lapses can't happen again…not now, not ever.] - The girl's sick. But it wasn't mention anywhere else in the story, especially since this was the reason she gave for not being able to be with him. So, whatever happened?
[Somehow, even when all the odds are stacked against her.]
[Not anytime soon, at least.]
[Too simple for most to ever be able to answer.]
[Something very convenient.]
[She joy she lost a long time ago, she finally finds it within that moment.], [It's a strange little song, she song she sings, one she remembers from a distant time.] - The, I believe
[To protect him from the world, that is a task that can never be completed.] - "that task can" would suffice.
[She's angry now, really angry. How dare they treat him like that!] - It's odd that she follows him to school.
[But she watches through his new bedroom window, because that's just the way she is.] - He moves and she moves too?
[She grips and grabs and runs and hides.] - "She grips, grabs, runs, and hides."
I find it illogical to read that when the boy moves twice, the girl moves twice too. She can't be living alone, and her family background wasn't mentioned. In addition, the last part when they are together, it happens too suddenly and there's no process. Question is, what happened? What happened to the girl's illness? I like how the two characters interact. It is sweet, touching and there are some relevance to the quote. Your grammar is good, but your vocabulary is a little lacking. Overall, I think it's a good read that really shows the beauty of love.