|Reviews for Lunar Crest|
| Lizz7809 chapter 2 . 12/16/2012
Thank for taking the time to read my story! I just finished reading chapter one of yours and I really like it so far. I think Aunt Flora is a interesting character as well as Agatha and Joshua. I look forward to hearing more from them.
You asked about Raven in my story and I described her a bit at the very beginning of the chapter 1 by saying she had hazel eyes. Also, when they are at the bus stop I believe I said that her brother and her share the same Auburn hair. Thank you for pointing out that one sentence, "Since I am late again..." I thought it was weird when I wrote it but couldn't think of another way to write it at the time.
Thanks again for the comment and I look forward to reading more of your stuff!
| Nyakitty chapter 1 . 12/11/2012
After reading the first chapter, I'd say the biggest problem I'm seeing in this story so far is with the grammar. For the most part it isn't too bad, but there are a few parts, such as in the first paragraph, where it is hard to understand what is going on.
Apart from that, I can't see anything that I personally would change. This was a pretty interesting chapter.
| Rainera chapter 1 . 12/11/2012
From the Roadhouse Forums discussion thread.
I read the prologue and first chapter of your story and I like the way your characters interact within the story. Their chemistry works pretty well, and the dialogue doesn't get bogged down. Also their internal thoughts and feelings are conveyed excellently.
My only gripes so far would have to be the grammar, especially pertaining to the first paragraph of your prologue. Half of that paragraph is a run on sentence that could be chopped into two to three different sentences. Their are some other minor mistakes but that is the one that sticks out the most to me.
All in all, I would love to see where this story goes and how Anima deals with the trials before her.
| jj1027 chapter 1 . 12/10/2012
Greetings from the road house!
I like this, really. The details interest me, the mixed ethnicity of the household seems like an odd touch, but refreshing for some reason. More importantly, the conflict has grabbed me. I want to know who would kill this girl.
As for the technical side of it, I think you could leave this in present tense and be fine, as long as you stay consistent. I see a lot of little things like grammar mistakes, but nothing so bad I just need to bring it up. A very engaging piece of writing.
If you could, please repay via review for war of the shadows.