|Reviews for Anthem of the Angels|
| Rumors of War chapter 5 . 1/17
This is a review for the whole story;
Buddy, you've got the whole datingthing down pat...But then your still in the game I've been out of it since before you were born. I got a kick out of the little digs you got in for Valentines Day, the more things change, the more thay stay the same. I was a lot like James back in the day, problem was, I was so shy the "Asking a friend to ask a girl for you," didn't work either. Even all those years ago these little "soiree's" were strictly for the "cool" kids, Janis Ian even wrote a song about it. All in all a rather interesting story, you hit on all the little things people will remember all their lives about these years. Good writing, you're writing style certainly kept me interested, I plan to follow this one.
| MysteriousFire chapter 4 . 7/19/2013
I'm going to start doing that, walking without knowing where I'm going
I want ice-cream snowflakes too!
Discussing ice-cream snowflakes with Jaylee sounds like having a discussion with me xD
Have you ever seen 'Cloudy with a chance of meatballs'? I believe it actually does rain ice cream there!
Aw she's either just happy for you or she's trying to hide her disappointment behind happy smiles, Joey. Don't give up yet!
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 3 . 5/11/2013
This was a nice chapter. I like that it didn't leave off on a cliffhanger because I don't think every chapter needs a hook to make someone want to keep reading. I also liked Farah's character because I think she's a lot different from what she first appeared to be. I thought she would be really uptight and snooty, but she's actually kind of nice.
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 2 . 5/4/2013
I decided to review this chapter as the intro was fairly short and I wanted to get the maximum reading from you. :)
I really enjoy the voice of this chapter. Joey is a well written character and easily believable. Plus, he's so nice helping his friend out like that. I love that that's part of his personality, looking out for his friends. It makes him easier to like and support.
Another thing I liked was just the situation presented in this chapter. It's something done a lot, but with Joey's voice and personality, you made it unique and that's really cool. I can't imagine what you'll have planned with these characters, but it should be fun to find out.
[I mean it's not like James is asking the girls to marry him, but that's what you'd think if you saw some of the girls' reactions. ] Ahahah, I thought this line was hilarious. XD Poor James. I feel bad for him, too.
The only thing that I would suggest working on right now is dialogue. It's easily presented, but it doesn't flow as naturally as it could.
[and you may only get rejected!] I felt like "may" is a little out of place here and I think you could omit it and replace it with "you'll" or "would" to help keep the flow.
[I will ask someone else just like you suggested so that at least we don't have to deal with those girls anymore."] Don't be afraid of contractions. "I will" sounds very stiff and formal as opposed to "I'll". Also, I think you could omit "just" and "that" to keep the flow in this sentence as well.
Overall, nice work on this chapter. :) Love the voice of Joey again, it's definitely your strong point!
| Guest chapter 3 . 4/1/2013
I like how Joey is kinda awkward around girls :p
Also Farah listening to music with one headphone in made me smile, because I'm sitting here listing to music with one headphone in xD
It seems that Joey is kinda being tortured by being foreced to dance... Poor guy. Though the feeling he had while listening to the music made me happy
I like Joey's parents, especially his mother
And lol I even love Jaylee's parents more! I love their bickering
I'm wondering what will happen now that they're alone...
| FtXNn chapter 3 . 2/9/2013
Nice one ;)
I wonder what's going to happen to them..
Farah reminds me of my childhood friend 'Farah' I couldn't forget her because she had lovely green eyes :P
| Guest chapter 3 . 2/9/2013
Awesome I love it... Can't wait for more. :D
| ChibiJinchuuriki chapter 2 . 1/19/2013
Aw I really want to read more! The tension between Joey and Jaylee has become more heightened
lovin' the Apple references ;)
| jakbnimble chapter 2 . 1/6/2013
This story is so cute! I feel just as conflicted as Joey about going to the dance with someone he doesn't really want to go with, while simultaneously setting up his friend with the one person he really does want to go with. He's too nice for his own good! :P
| FtXNn chapter 2 . 1/5/2013
Poor kid. :(
It must've been hard for him, I think Jaylee likes him though ;) just a feeling.
| FtXNn chapter 1 . 1/5/2013
I wonder if this is based on real life
| MysteriousFire chapter 2 . 1/4/2013
It's funny how Joey first thinks "I don't get why no one will just say 'yes' to James either. I mean it's not like James is asking the girls to marry him." and near the end he things "I've heard that this dance is mostly for couples. Wouldn't it be awkward for Jaylee and I to go together? What if the others think we're a couple?" Now he gets why it's so hard to ask anyone.
And I think he's going to regret this. I mean what if Jaylee and James like each other and start dating?
| MysteriousFire chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
A short but strong intro that gets you into the story right away. Now I can't wait to read on!
| CRAZEDbySUGAR chapter 1 . 12/17/2012
awww cute beginningX3
a great introduction to the characters
| DarknessesDownfall chapter 1 . 12/15/2012
Oooo that sly dog ;D surely you will continue! I'm looking forward to it!