|Reviews for The Darkwater Chronicles|
| KM chapter 1 . 5/30/2014
Ha Ha Ha lol. The imagination of her is simply mind blowing along with the discribing words!:) first time reading and already wanting to read more and more of this.:D. ty and I shall continue to read this epicness
| HybridStories31 chapter 2 . 9/24/2013
Okay I know I reviewed the first chapter (it told me I could write another one), but I completely forgot what I said, so bare with me if I repeat myself.
One thing I've noticed is capitalization. Mom and Dad are capitalized when they are used as a name. I.e. Mom and Dad said... Examples for when it's not... my mom and dad said...
Next (I have this problem myself so I understand) you need to combine more of your sentences. Not too many, as that would create run-on paragraphs and sentences, but just a few more would make it more readable.
You may also what to look over some of your sentences. They seem unfinished and many times are just fragments.
Some of those fragments are your characters thoughts, so I recommend separating your characters actual thoughts from the narrative. Or make most of her thoughts into complete sentences (Like Twilight, and yes I know many people don't like it, but she is a good writer technically).
I also recommend putting more narrative into your writing and less actual thoughts. It' s kind of hard of to read with mostly thoughts. Narrative can be in first person, it adds description and depth to your story.
These are all my opinions and you can take 'em or leave 'em.
I hope this helps.
| RokStar chapter 18 . 8/11/2013
YES! I AM GOING TO READ MORE!
| jerrellsgirl112606 chapter 18 . 6/5/2013
This was an amazing story and yes i think you can publish this. Im off to read the next one i hope its as good as this one.
| david the scottish werewolf chapter 2 . 3/8/2013
| david the scottish werewolf chapter 1 . 3/8/2013
I howls at the moon to salute your awesome story
| HybridStories31 chapter 1 . 2/23/2013
I can honestly say that this is the best story I've read on here (writing wise). The story line is good and that way you have developed Alex is great. When I don't have much to say in a review that means you are doing something right! I always edit more than review so the fact that I have practically nothing to edit means you are a really good writer.
I'm not a professional editor but I catch most common mistakes. Keep up the good work.
I have noticed some spelling errors, but I think that might be because those words we just have different spellings. Such as 'centre' I spell it as 'center'.
| Guest chapter 18 . 2/7/2013
ALL THE FOUL LANGUAGE! :D yes i think that could get published and cant wait to seem what your overly messed up mind can come up with next :)
| Dumb Katt chapter 18 . 2/7/2013
I loved it! I love the way Alex acts and her sarcasm, it makes it fun to read. I think you should try to publish it! I'm good with drawing and such, I might try to make this awesome story into a comic (or manga, what ever you want to call . ) Can't wait for the next installment! Peace Out ! :D
| Dumb Katt chapter 1 . 2/7/2013
I LOVE IT! . love the movie refferense too! more more more!
(P.S srry for sucktastic spelling -_- )
| ALifeToGive chapter 18 . 2/4/2013
No words of how awesome the ending was
I really enjoyed this chapter _
| ALifeToGive chapter 17 . 2/1/2013
"...MY shredding flesh – and a horrible Goddamn motherfucking douche nugget fucking pain!"
This line beats every other line I've read in this story so far XD
The suspension is at a all time High :D
I want to read the next chapter now it so high, I want to see what happens next...!
| ALifeToGive chapter 14 . 2/1/2013
Alex swears a lot...
| ALifeToGive chapter 13 . 2/1/2013
This is a entertaining chapter - I think I'm dark and sadistic...ah well
I like this chapter - I think my favourite world was 'nifty' so odd - you described clothes... XD
Onward - reading next chapter...now! (probably wont review though)
| TypicalRookie chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
I will definitely have to look at more of this story.