Reviews for The Darkwater Chronicles
Miggles chapter 5 . 12/7/2012
Ahhh! Can't wait for you to update again, but please don't dump a whole load of chapters again. I won't have time to read them all at this rater. :(
Miggles chapter 4 . 12/7/2012
I think you mean 'plate' not 'plat' :P
There are still some spelling and grammar errors, but they shouldn't take too long to sort out. :)
But I love your style, and it's really funny while being realistic at the same time.
Miggles chapter 3 . 12/7/2012
Loving it so far, but I'm a bit confused; you say she pulls out a fiction book, but calls it 'something normal' to read. This seems contradictory, as fiction is made up and can be as wierd as you like.
Keep writing please! :D
ALivingDream chapter 5 . 12/7/2012
Interesting Chapter.
Something brewing :)
I wonder who Both this Nathaniel guy is and why Barnabas deems him a monster

Other then some period/comma thing that I mentioned in the first review - nothing really to pick at

Liz
Lynn K. Hollander chapter 4 . 12/7/2012
There's a consistent and very noticeable error, from the first chapter to the fourth, in the dialogue tag sentences like these: "Dolls." I tell him. & "I'm sorry, I really have to go." I tell him & "Oh I'm sorry to hear that." He says. If you want the reason this is incorrect, it's because what is said and who says it are part of ONE complete sentence. That being so, DO NOT end the dialogue with a period immediately before the closing quotation marks and DO NOT capitalize the first word following the closing quotation marks unless it is the pronoun 'I' or a proper noun, a name. More correctly, the examples go like this: "Dolls(COMMA)," I tell him. & "I'm sorry, I really have to go(COMMA)," I tell him & "Oh I'm sorry to hear that(COMMA)," (NO CAPITAL LETTER) he says.
Other than that, the story is interesting and the descriptions are pretty good.
ALivingDream chapter 4 . 12/6/2012
...in one section - you used 'creepy' a lot
Interesting first Day for Alex

oh look - she hates Math
oh look again - she sits in the front seat of the bus behind the driver
oh look a third time - she has a vivid imagination

..is there something your not telling us Fish?

Other then the over use of the word creepy in the description of the house and that one section - I have no real complaints this chapter

Till next time
Liz
ALivingDream chapter 3 . 12/6/2012
Creepy...
Great Chapter. But - Creepy

Very creepy. But again, great chapter

The plot creepily thickens

Not much else to say...
Onto the next one
ALivingDream chapter 2 . 12/6/2012
"Then, for the cherry on top, we have the dolls. Not just any dolls. Those creepy porcelain dolls that have eyes that follow you around the room and hold knives over your throat while you sleep and if you don't notice that knife just plunges straight down into – I've developed a pathological fear of dolls since seeing that one episode of The Twilight Zone"

I agree with this! They are the creepiest things EVER! whoever created them should be stabbed repeatedly with rusty spoons in hell!

In other news - I enjoyed this chapter. very...creepy awesome...especially the people - very friendly - except for the fish guy - the house freaked him out - but I can't really blame him

Hmmmm - I wonder what the lipstick writing means..
You are have a very vivid imagination Fish

...I didn't see anything to really pick at this chapter, so awesome job!
onto the next chapter! AWAY!

Liz
ALivingDream chapter 1 . 12/6/2012
Okay. I have read the first chapter.
I it AWESOME! :)

I have mixed feelings though about the beginning though. It was strong and unique to the writings of your other works that I have read Fish
BUT (and don't have someone shoot me for this)
I thought for a bit - that is had some stereotypical beginning moments in ,go figure, the beginning.
so it was Uniquely Dark - with the standard 'Arrive in new town, describing new place, ect' bits
I also noticed a lot of periods where I believe a comma could have worked better - but again, that's entirely your writing style Fish
I will enjoy reading this Dark, Hummer filled Story though
Until next time,
Liz
Kate Drake chapter 1 . 12/6/2012
I liked this. I'm not going to go into what the other reviewer said but simply that this could use a little proofreading. It doesn't take to much away from the story, so to be it isn't as big of a deal as it is in other stories I've read.

Your main character is interesting. Her voice is a little vulgar but I think that's part of her charm. I'm definitely going to follow this to see how it turns out :)

If you're looking for a supernatural story to read, check out my story :)
Miggles chapter 1 . 12/5/2012
I liked this, and I want to keep reading it. :) However, the first thing that hit me was the lack of an apostrophe in 'towns' in your description. Also, I feel that 'guy-friend' is clumsy, try saying 'potential boyfriend', or best friend if his gender doesn't matter at the moment.
Saying 'my future high school. 'Darkwater High School'' sounds repetitive - cut out the first 'high school' and just say school. We'll know it's a high school when she reads the sign.
I'm also confused by your description of the garden - I think this probably needs rewriting because I coulnd't visualise the house clearly at all. :L
I think you mean 'reeks' instead of 'wreaks', and you don't need the 'up' in 'done up'.
But I can't wait for you to update, so keep writing please! :D
CrazyMate chapter 1 . 12/5/2012
Nice
42 | « Prev Page 1 .. 3