Reviews for Gavin: Abandoned: July 2027
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 4/15/2013
It's interesting to see the dynamic between the twins, and I think with each story you make them more interesting. I like the contrast in them, and they have a sweet relationship. But...well, just the usual things to say really. Tighten it up a bit; watch out for words where they're not needed [Please help me to not do that again."] 'To' in this instance. Dialogue at times is a bit formal; the twins seem to speak very adult like for their age (I'm guessing their either kids or young teens?) ["Because you did not want to go."] could just be "You didn't want to go." [The two ran outside as Gavin instructed various places she should check and said that they would meet in the living room after dark if they had not discovered him.] bit of a long, awkward sentence. Maybe rework it a bit, see if you can get the same message across in less words. As always, hope this helps :)
Tumbleweedr chapter 1 . 12/14/2012
I could really picture this in my head as I was reading. Excellent use of detail. The characters seem very real and even in just this piece, I feel like I got to know them. This is the first of your stories I've read so I'm a little confused, but you've gotten me interested in reading more.