|Reviews for Callum: Preciousness: March 2012|
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 2/17/2013
I think you could do with making this a bit longer. At the moment, there's a lot of questions raised, but (personally) maybe not enough answered. Callum's involved in business, now? I thought he was a detective? And, to me, anyway, he seemed a bit...cold throughout this, compared to the character seen in some of the other stories. It's hard to get a real sense of what he's feeling, too, maybe because of the shortness of it. It doesn't really feel like too much is going on here, either, so I think you need to draw out the emotions a bit more to give it, as a story, more substance. It's very intriguing, but like I said, I think a bit more explanation would really add to it as a whole. Maybe you could work a bit more on the other characters; again, adding to the emotion thing, maybe show what Callum thinks about them, feels about them, it will add a bit more to their characters and give a bit more of Callum to read about too.