|Reviews for Emerald|
| Prolix chapter 1 . 12/17/2012
Admittedly this does not read like Twilight (That God). I like your writing style. It is what I call 'solid'. Not to flighty or poetic, great at drawing the reader in and grounding them there. I would suggest that you add some dialogue in the first chapter. The eariler the better. After a while the reading, though exceptional, became tedious. Too much backstory in one place can kill the forward momentum. Most of this can be discovered through conversation. That way the reader gets tied into your characters while discovering the world from themselves. All things considered, I will save any major criticisms for chapter two. That is usually where the writing levels out.
| Raphluo chapter 1 . 12/17/2012
I think it's a pretty good story. The only thing I feel a little itchy is that the vampires act too much like humans. I feel they should have somehow unique characters due to their blood-thirst nature...
| Swallow-tailed Kite chapter 1 . 12/13/2012
Well, I would really appreciate Aura's help. The air really needs some heavy-duty cleaning up.
When switching between Carolyna's POV and the... erm... "supernatural-people-council-vampire"'s POV, it would be nice to have a line break, because it's kinda confusing. One moment it's on Kristopher's desires to be King, and the next is Carolyna waking up.
Otherwise, no mistakes that I can see :D