|Reviews for Crazy Joey|
| dreamerwaking chapter 2 . 5/29/2013
I'm not sure how Jewels the talking kangaroo with a cannon fits in. I'm assuming it is another bounty hunter. It is a very interesting concept but I feel you might need to explain this a little for your readers to get a better picture of how Jewels fits in.
I noted that you have also made mention of Amness' father again. No doubt there is some bad blood there between them, some conflict between them. Every good character needs a negative influence in their past that they need to work though in the story, I think you can do a lot with this.
Again, I noted a couple of lines that need a minor change or two:
(He jumps into the air and turns backward. The cannon begin glowing.) - the word begin should be past tense - began
(Instead, its gazed is fixed on the direction) - gazed should be gaze
(He begins running up the air as if it is wall before him.) - 'a' should be between is _wall
Keep writing. I would be happy to read more of this story.
| dreamerwaking chapter 1 . 5/29/2013
I like the idea of a female bounty hunter who can hold her own even though she is surrounded by the macho males. I get the impression she doesn't always feel the confidence she portrays but gets the job done just the same.
(I will assure you that he is not fu) - I'm assuming the last word is meant to be 'funny' ?
I noticed a few lines that could use a bit of tweaking if you don't mind my input, I've listed a couple for you:
(I am twenty-one, on my own, and in need of money, ff teaming up) - I'm not sure what word you intended for 'ff'.
I like the concept of your story so far. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter.