|Reviews for Catch Me|
| TechNomaNcer28 chapter 1 . 12/31/2013
Whoooa!Wow,that was sooo surprising and haunting and absolutely beautiful,the way it was done!
| meapineapple chapter 1 . 4/6/2013
Beautifully written! I only wish I that I could have read more about their history.
| Lulu the Llama chapter 1 . 1/2/2013
Okay, tension, drama, complex and intricate past, sexual tension, tears, smooches.
Like how did you fit all that in such little amount of words and have it all come off so smooth and entertaining? Really liked the complexity of their relationship and how you didn't go and totally submerge us into it. We don't need to know every detail to understand, so good call on that!
Adored the ending the most.
| LuckycoolHawk9 chapter 1 . 12/29/2012
I like the way that Liam has a plan in his mind before he even makes Jake and how it changes later because it is true that in real life, people change their plans daily to make other people love them. I however disliked the ending because it felt too unnatural that their games would continue after the man just nearly killed himself. Otherwise a decent read.
| hohoho chapter 1 . 12/18/2012
Excellent hook at the beginning. I was instantly interested in this guy that is so ready to be done and die. I had to know what was going on and why he felt that way.
I was so caught up in this story that I didn't realize I had read it all till it was over. Then I had to read it again so that I could give a decent review. It was just that good.
The setting was perfect, and i could just hear what Liam could as he waited for Jake. It felt like I was there watching this man that was so ready for it to be over, and I wanted it to end well for him. I wanted him to be happy.
I can't even begin to imagine ten years of what these two have been doing. I would want to be done too. I would want out and the happier the better. And I couldn't help but wonder the whole time how two childhood friends end up trying to kill each other constantly.
It was such a sad ending, but i'm not sure if it could have been any other way without it ruining the mood of the rest of the story. Overall it was great and I loved it. Well Done! and merry Christmas!
| Secret Santa chapter 1 . 12/16/2012
Hello hello, Secret Santa here with your review present!
I didn't like that the story moved between present tense and past tense. For instance you say "could" instead of "can" but then use "that's all he needs" instead of "that was all he needed". The tenses didn't make sense to me and made the story odd to read because I couldn't figure out if the story was taking place in the present or the past - if it was a distant remembering narrator or not, et cetera. I thought the relationship between Liam and Jake was melodramatic and a little heavy handed. Despite the warning that the ending was vague, I think you could clear it up with revision if you wanted to improve the piece. I liked your dialogue because I thought it did a good job portraying the relationship between the Liam and Jake. Overall though, I'd clean up the language and get the story straightened out as far as tense. Adding in more sensory imagery and attention to detailed setting would be nice too - it would give us more to work with as far as visuals, and touch, smell, taste, et cetera. Hope this helps!
Have a Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year!
| Argentum Vir chapter 1 . 12/17/2012
I liked your writing style. Short and to the point. The words flow well and felt natural.
The relationship wasn't all that relatable to me. I guess that's just because I've never been in a love-hate relationship. I can see you put a lot of thought into it, so it does mean something. Just not to me. It was an interesting read though.
| TequilaMockingbird19 chapter 1 . 12/14/2012
I do agree that the story was a bit too vague but I guess I like it because it sort of gives me the chance to make up my own concrete ending to it. I love the story because it shows sort of a really exaggerated love-hate relationship where they actually kill each other. Though some people need not kill the people they love, (XD) Love hate relationships are really easy to relate to so, I think that was a plus point for you.
I just don't like the spacing here like you did in that Count to 17... Hm, but since you've done it in two stories you've read I guess it's an author's style thing. I just find it a bit distracting.
I love the confession! It was well timed and no where near sappy. it was very believable too thanks to your choice of words
| The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 12/14/2012
I really like the repetition of "one night" as a stand alone phrase; it sort of gives a heart-beat impression and really pounds that into the reader. I do think though that here: [One night and it's all over.] - you could put a comma at the very least after "one night" to keep that segregation. Just extra reinforcement, otherwise it melts into the rest of the line and stands out less.
[A threat.] - this part doesn't fall into the rhythm of your writing as well as everything else ties together.
I was surprised at this actually; I don't know what I was expecting, but this wasn't exactly it. Plot wise, it's what I expected with some changes but your writing style really seems to suit this somehow. So I feel it's actually the dialogue that gets a little long in places as opposed to your paragraphs being small and thread-bare as I've felt with your other works. Well...parts of your dialogue really. Like Jake's last little speech; I think if that was shorter, more fragmented, it would have a far greater impact than a reader reading through three lines like that. The ellipses help, but I think it would have helped more if you broke it up a little more literally.
Apart from that, I think this is one of my favourites from you, writing wise. Especially the ending, truly reminiscent of cat and mice and also a little open ended - because that could be reincarnation, or he could have survived. Maybe Jake got his head back together and called an ambulance or something. Who knows. (or maybe you do :))
| TheWitch'sLover chapter 1 . 12/14/2012
I liked it, even if the ending was vague :) Short and sweet ;)
| S.H. Marr chapter 1 . 12/14/2012
I'd say the ending is more than a bit vague. The last two lines really don't make any sense. To be honest, a cut to the throat really wouldn't kill you that quickly, either, not if he didn't hit the cartiod or jugular. "Falls back to start..."? We have no way of knowing what the means. Are they immortal, are they having extra lives, I don't know. It doesn't make sense.
I also don't really like the inclusion of the line about "wanting to be eaten". I think it's an interesting summary, or wouldn't be here, after all, but. It's very, very "tell" and while that works in a summary, in the actual writing, it just seems like you're trying to hard to make clever metaphors.
The rest of this all seemed to work really well, though. I just think those two sections need to be looked at. And add more detail! I don't know what either of these two look like, and I don't know what the setting is.
| Anihyr Moonstar chapter 1 . 12/14/2012
Okay, that was a sufficiently kick ass ending. :) Because OBVIOUSLY JAKE SAVES HIM AND THEN THEY KEEP CHASING EACH OTHER AND OCCASIONALLY BUTTFUC-ERRR...MAKING LOVE. Yes. Obviously. Plenty of time to get an ambulance. And Jake is fucking loaded, so. IT HAPPENS.
Um, sorry for all that nonsense. Proper review starts now:
I love Jake and Liam's dynamic. Love-to-hate, hate-to-love power play relationships are among the best when it comes to male romances as far as I'm concerned. It's just delicious, and they play off of each other so well. I especially liked the mention of Liam getting a prostitute for Jake and the mental image of him squirming in face of her come-ons. The him blowing her head off part was gory, but I suppose that just says something about his character. ;)
My favorite part though has to be Jake's confession. I think it's perfectly timed, realistic and good for his character - not overly sappy or anything like that, but still powerful. Nicely handled, all in all.