|Reviews for Forest Foundling|
| MoJo chapter 1 . 11/30/2013
I like the contrast in the story, between the horrifying abandonment of the baby to the silver lining in him finding a home. You walked the viewer through every detail, giving us a sense of experiencing it along side you. I also appreciated the strong lead character (you) and the way it gave the viewer a sense of compassion, justice and knowledge. I wouldn't mind reading more stories that focused on such a strong character. There are few and far between in the world as a whole and it's always amazing to see such greatness still exist, especially in writing form. There were few grammatical errors but that is something on which can be improved upon. The only thing that was missing was perhaps more character expression. Mayhaps try adding something along the lines of detailing your face when you found the baby? Or how you coddled him with fear of his future, if that makes sense? Just try something along those lines and see how you like the feel of it. If you do and you don't appreciate it as much, then that's just not your cup of tea, now is it?
On what other people think of your writings, remember just that. It is YOUR writings and all that matters is how it makes YOU feel. You're the creator and others opinions that aren't constructively helping are just not necessary. In the end, it's what YOU feel is best for your writings. You will know if it is right or not at the end of the day. Good luck with your future writings and other endeavors and may you always believe in yourself and those you care about. The world needs it!
| Rita Sklarchuk chapter 1 . 11/29/2013
I don't know about your real life but I like how you describe the rocks and the fish. Reminds me of trout we would catch. I like it!
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/11/2013
Very interesting story. I enjoyed your descriptions of the rock and the fish. And thank you for passing on the recipe for the pickle sandwiches. I'm not really sure about the combination of pickles and turkey, but I should try it before deciding. I might be in for a pleasant surprise.
Thanks very much for sharing your story. I look forward to reading more.
| Draea1311 chapter 1 . 10/9/2013
Good story. A few grammatical issues but overall well-written. One suggestion - you may want to vary the length of your sentences and include compound sentences. It will help the story have more rhythm and depth. Keep writing, Kiddo.
| concerned chapter 1 . 10/9/2013
has your dad read these?
| SammyD chapter 1 . 10/9/2013
This is adorable. Have you thought about lengthening them a little? Oh and for the record reality is the best reference for fiction. Every story starts with an event from our reality.
| KSNG chapter 1 . 10/9/2013
There are some grammatical inconsistencies here and there, making it slightly difficult to read, but besides that, it's good. There's a few plot-related inconsistencies too, but those seem purposeful, like the reader is meant to think for themself (which is always good).
| Sunny chapter 1 . 10/8/2013
This is the first story of yours that I've read, and now I'm hooked! This was really exciting to read, and you had me on the edge of my seat when you were rushing to draw a bath and get Harry warm. I'm glad everything turned out for the best! You have a great writing style, and I especially love your attention to detail. The way you described the rocks and the fish was especially vivid, and I could visualize them so clearly. Keep writing and improving, I can't wait to read more of your work!
| miragephotoworksgmail.com chapter 1 . 10/8/2013
I think you are doing great and your continuous writing in the face of adversity lends great credit to your ability to rise above the naysaying masses who criticize your every move. Never give them the power to hurt or change you...always simply be you and continue to grow in this wonderful world of imagination. :)
| irrelephanthumour chapter 1 . 7/26/2013
So I've just read through a bunch of your stories and all I can say is well done :) They're beautiful little snapshots that really nicely convey a lot about your overall story without being too bogged down in detail - that's awesome! There are a lot of "more mature" writers who couldn't do that even if they tried for weeks. I promise I'm not being condescending when I say these stories are really cute and have brought a smile to my face today.
I won't offer any criticisms at the moment as I haven't seen any notes from you indicating that you want some but if you do hit me up :) (they'd purely be writing style type constructive criticisms - I don't see the point in anything else. It's YOUR story - you know how you want it to go and where your inspiration comes from)
Keep up the great work! xo Hannah
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/30/2013
great writing. not perfect but you will get better :) I loved writing stories when I was your age, and I got better the more I wrote. So keep it up! :)
| Neenah chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
I think you have a great imagination and you will grow to be a great writer. Keep doing what you enjoy and even though it is hard sometimes please try to ignore those who are so full of hate that they have to try and discourage the rest of us from doing what makes us happy.
| Tamara Gordy chapter 1 . 2/25/2013
Very nice imagery Maddie. Your writing continues to advance. Well done.
| jagfanatic chapter 1 . 2/26/2013
You have a vivid imagination (that's a good thing) and an excellent vocabulary for such a young girl. It was neat the way the narrator's father used a bath to warm the baby, instead of just bundling the baby up.
PS: The scene at the pond was very realistic. Do you and your father (the real you, not the fictional 'you') ever go fishing. I used to go fishing with my Dad a lot at your age.
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/24/2013
Great story, Maddie10! Love the details you used describing things in the forest! Sounded like a great fish you caught :)