|Reviews for The Hunter of the Wicked|
| Whitefire19 chapter 17 . 2/28
Wow, that was great. So much story in just this one chapter. I was kind of hoping for a lot of threats would be waiting for John in the demon world, since he is mortal there. It would've made the chapter a lot more exciting, but that's my only complaint. The demon world itself was well described. I really like this new character Lamperouge, and his funny, intelligent demeanor, despite his tragic back story. I hope he stays on for at least awhile. The twist at the end really got me as well. I wasn't expecting a girl to be the weapon, though I really should've considering that's a classic anime plot device. I can tell you draw a lot of your ideas from anime.
Just out of curiosity, did you copy this Lamperouge character from Code Geass? If so, you may want to change him some, because he is almost exactly like Lelouch Lamprouge. Another thing I noticed in the last chapter, but forgot to tell you about was when you wrote "Danger is real. Fear is a choice." That's directly plagiarized from the movie "After Earth." As someone who really wants to see this story become great, I'm telling you that you need to stop copying stuff directly from other stories. It makes this story less original, less fun and more boring. I much prefer all the cool ideas of your own that you used so much in the earliest chapters. Just something to think about.
| Whitefire19 chapter 16 . 2/7
I like the second ending better, the one where Henrietta kills the Oni. That makes it all the more surprising when she turns on Icarus. I'll be honest, this chapter wasn't as good as your chapters usually are, mostly because of all the needless sub-plots and plot holes. Why did Benke suddenly appear to Icarus? Why does he want to help? Why does Icarus need a demon weapon to kill Alexander? Why were there police at the temple? Why can't Henrietta speak Japanese? If she's not Japanese, why is she in Japan in a police uniform at a shrine? There's just too many questions left unanswered. I think it might've been better if God just told Icarus what he needed to do to kill Alexander. That would make it go faster and imply that God is scared of him. One of the most important things I've learned as writer is to never put something in a story that doesn't need to be there. Readers like short, sweet and to the point.
I do really like the idea of the demon world though, where John is just another meat sack. I can't wait to see what happens when he goes there.
| Whitefire19 chapter 15 . 12/20/2013
That was a cool chapter, though the dream sequence with John was kind of confusing. I'm glad I finally got to see some of Alexander's true power.
| Whitefire19 chapter 14 . 10/30/2013
AWESOME! I love how you showed the second half of the chapter from Alexander's point of view. That will make the story way more intense and interesting later. You also did a good job having John finally get hurt. He'll probably be really surprised about that when he wakes up. A couple of suggestions: you should really take out the second description of Alexander. You already described him in the third person POV, so there's no need to do it again. Also, you should never tell your readers to "look it up on the internet." I know what a kitsune is, but your should describe them like you do the people, so reader knows what they look like. It's fine to use Japanese mythology, but be careful not to rip off Naruto with similarities like "Susanoo". Nobody likes plagiarism. Other than that, incredible job. Looking forward to more.
| Whitefire19 chapter 13 . 10/22/2013
That was awesome, especially the torture scene. The one thing I would change is to describe what the demons look like a little more. Can't wait to see what happens next. Just a suggestion, you may want to ask someone you know to proofread your chapters before your post them. I love reading your chapters, but there are so many grammar errors that it's hard to understand what's happening sometimes, especially in a faced-paced fight scene.
| Pokemiah chapter 11 . 8/17/2013
It should be "sense" not "since". The other mistakes you made in this chapters are the common ones you made throughout the entire story. By the way, this story is a good one. I'll admit that I'm not very religious but I still believe that this is a great plot you set up for the book. Definitely, keep up the good work.
| Pokemiah chapter 9 . 8/17/2013
It should be "crowd" not "crowed". At the end, it should be "hear" not "here".
| Pokemiah chapter 8 . 8/17/2013
"Tell" should be "till" at the end of the first paragraph.
| Pokemiah chapter 7 . 8/17/2013
You misspelled "another". Once again, you used the wrong "there".
| Pokemiah chapter 6 . 8/17/2013
You misspelled borrowing. You also forgot the apostrophe after cities to show that it's the city's undesirables. City should also be singular in that instance. You also used the wrong kind of to when it came to the officer. It should be "too" not "to". And when John complains about the stairs, it should be "there" not "their".
| Pokemiah chapter 5 . 8/17/2013
I see a lot of errors in this chapter. At the beginning of the chapter when you were listing Jeremiah Dread's crimes, for the parts concerning drugs, you should have put, "made drugs, and sold them" instead of "making drugs, selling drugs" because it doesn't fit right in the way you're describing it with the rest of the sentence. Also, when John was falling, you should of used "were" instead of "where". When John put the combination into the warehouse, you said he put in A-277 when the murderer clearly said A-227. Myself is a word itself and does not have spaces in between my and self. That's all the errors I can think of for the moment. There might be more but I can't too sure. Anyway, I should have pointed out enough to help improve this chapter.
| Pokemiah chapter 4 . 8/17/2013
It's "matter" not "madder." Also, when John says, "Oh, I am sorry. Was I asking?" you should put a question mark there to show the readers that it's technically a question. Plus, I believe that you should focus a little more on sentence structures because these sentences seemed a little bit jumbled up.
| Pokemiah chapter 3 . 8/17/2013
You used "crowed" instead of "crowd" whenever you described how he was in a crowd. Plus, I would look more closely about the sentence structure because towards the end, it looked like you stopped the sentence at the wrong times.
| Pokemiah chapter 2 . 8/17/2013
When you were talking about how the floor on the boat caved, you didn't give any indication that John fell in or jumped into it causing some confusion among the reader to how he got into the food supply room.
| Pokemiah chapter 1 . 8/17/2013
Besides the commas you supposed at the end of a regular sentence in dialogue, I see no errors.