|Reviews for Forgiven In Theory|
| Mylilblackpen chapter 1 . 1/17/2013
I don't like this piece, I love it! This piece is fuelled by such eloquent emotion that it almost reminds me of a bittersweet breakup. You introduce the speakers emotions right away and how they feel to that person I assume they hugged, smiled at, laughed and was very close to. This poem is very forcefully executed in the sense that it grabs you by your shoulders and demands that you listen and respect the speaker's feelings. I liked the fourth stanza, very powerful and vivid. I liked the visual representation of "ripped" very clever and really good emphasis. As for the imagery in this stanza, well it was so vivid that I found myself wincing and gritting my teeth when you mentioned the salt to the wound - I've had that a few times. This poem is very relatable because it explains that a person can't just snap their fingers and be over something or forgive something, we all need time to heal. Very beautiful.
| tolerate chapter 1 . 12/30/2012
Whoa. This relates to me too, but not in a way that I got hurt. It's more of the... I hurt someone a few years back. I still think she's hurt over it and these are like words she's saying to me. I really like this poem. It's so full of emotions like pain, rage and hurt. I liked the fifth stanza of repetitive lines. Mhm, I just like those a lot and you do that a lot. Well, reading this really makes me feel guilty so I guess you're a really good writer to make me feel this way. Keep writing! Excellent work.
| Irish Eyes 63 chapter 1 . 12/25/2012
*back handsprings in* I'm back!
I have finally found the time to review again! And be a decent reviewer! Hallelujah. I'm not a good stay-on-top kind of person... thus why I have spent the last few weeks doing every ounce of my homework until not a drop is left. Thank God. Anywaysss, this is all about you, and therefore, I shall start!
"Yeah, I know, / I'm "supposed to be over it".' Freaking love the quotes around 'supposed to be over it.' So cliche, and the quotes just give that little voice pure sarcasm and bitterness. You have a very special talent with saying so little, but packing as much emotion as you possibly can into your words. I do believe that the period is meant to be in the quotation marks though, if I'm not over thinking it. If not, ignore me :]
"But do you know what? / It's not so simple / As I thought it would be." The second and third lines are especially captivating. However, the wording 'so' is a bit awkward when paired with the third line. I'd recommend changing it to 'as' so that the fluidity of the poem can continue unscathed. I like that you put so much meaning into the stanza, so much confusion and that attitude that screams that the whole situation is obvious, but that the character couldn't see it until after the fact. It reminds a lot of teenage romance, where the girl can't see what's wrong until something slaps her in the face.
"I don't want to hug you, / I don't want to smile at you. / I don't want to laugh with you. / I don't really want to be anywhere near you." Just pure epicness. I have no other words. Just... epic.
"Because you opened my wounds / Ripped the skin apart / Stitch by every broken-bloodied-stitch" Lovely. I'm not sure if your poetry, or poetry in general, is meant to have a scarce amount of commas, but after the first and second lines, commas should be placed. Of course, I love commas, and I believe that even gravestones should be littered with them, so don't mind me if the commas aren't supposed to be there. I thrive off of them :]
"Every sentence you wrote. / And then you rubbed in the salt, / Bathed them in vinegar / And lemon juice, / Before dressing them / In sandpaper bandages." You are so amazing at relaying emotion. Seriously. Give me some of your talent.
"And yet, / I say nothing. / I said nothing." Your bolded 'say' and 'said' are obvious the main focus in these lines. As they should be. Even without the bolded font, these three little lines would have stood out because of the present and past tense use. Everything is just so very, very strong.
"And, as such, I can't truly forgive." Awesome ending sentence. The honesty is great :] Not to mention the climax of the whole poem leading to the very simple, very emotional statement that forgiveness cannot be handed out. I'm extremely glad that this poem had such a seemingly small ending, even as it began with a strong command. The connection you made was potent. Literally made me jump up and down in happiness! As always, excellent job! Can't wait until I have even more time to stalk your work ;]
| Naver chapter 1 . 12/20/2012
Now this was powerful, such emotion wrapped in it. The Imagery was impressive and the words and format were breath taking. I really understood this piece and I could relate, great job. I can't find a single line I disliked, I loved every inch of it. :)
Continue to write, great work like always! :)
| MechanicMasquerade chapter 1 . 12/19/2012
I can relate to this so much, it's so strong, so powerful, and oh so relatable. You've captured such honesty and true feeling throughout, the depth of the hate.
I wonder, could I use your poem in a piece for my drama class?