|Reviews for Snowfall (Short story mixed with poetry)|
| Zhenny chapter 1 . 2/5/2013
Very good short! I enjoy the poetry aspect of it, and I've always loved a good surreal story. :)
I have one suggestion to make. In this line, "I go back to the window, whispering your name in vain, this feeling of discontent was difficult to contain. This feeling of longing was driving me insane..", you switch from present tense to past tense. You use "I go", which indicates present tense, and then you use "was" for the following thoughts, which indicates past tense. It looks a tad bit messy with the switch back and forth, but it's a very common mistake to make. It's one of the big hurdles that I struggle with in my writing! Keep up the good work!
| KaylaHeart chapter 1 . 12/25/2012
Wow, it's so secluded and quiet inside that poem, it's gorgeous. Sorry, I'm trying to catch up on your stories!