|Reviews for Obsidian|
| Naver chapter 6 . 12/26/2012
I don't like the last line, if It was altered or not there the poem would be better... It killed the illison in my mind... Other than that I really like this short poem here. I like the imagery and the words.
I think It was a pretty good set of poems, good job! :D
| Naver chapter 5 . 12/26/2012
Hmm... Think of another way to phrase "in my mind" or another way to tell the reader that is where the scene is. The repetion is starting to get to me... and you read my poems, so you know what that means.. It must really be too much."
I can say that you have a style that I have only read from you. Using similar words and a similar flow in each poem (I enjoy your poems as you know.)
Second line from the bottom is my favorite. :)
Apparitions looking for the lives in the past, that's such a good line you made. :)
| Naver chapter 4 . 12/26/2012
Hmm... I feel for the last two poems the phrase "in my mind" was a bit over used. Only because it was in both poems... repeatedly... Something about it being attached the way it is.. makes it like that... I guess...
Second line is my favorite, good imagery! :)
I could feel and see that happening...
| Naver chapter 3 . 12/26/2012
"To show the sinner the shame to be inescapable inside one's own mind
This timeless place whispers softly to the hectic, panicky thoughts in my mind"
I like those lines, I guess I really like the thought of being trapped in one's mine.."
The first line On this post reminds me of guilt killing their thoughts very moments... The second well.. the insanity hits like a wild fire of fear.
| Naver chapter 2 . 12/26/2012
That last line is what I favor most from this poem. Like a man gone mad with his thoughts and takes his life to find the answers.. Haha. Strange what I come up with."
| Naver chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
I like the last lines of this one. It gives a dark atmosphere and a very odd image in my mind.