Wow I love this, it's so beautiful and sad, I'm in tears

Wow. That's all I can say. This story was beautifully written and I loved it! You showed just how difficult it was for people of different races to be with one another without overdoing it! Nicely done.

My heart hurt when I was reading this story. I was as anxious as the character wondering if she was going to show up. Beautifully crafted and realistic. In my head I try to make up different scenarios they'll face in Chicago. After having their home vandalized and a five man group attacking the small family, the small family just says fuck it and moves out to Alaska or Canada and live as bush people on well place acre of land. :)

Well done. I loved this so much and I could relate to a lot of what went on here. The Bear and Pecan tree theme was just wonderful. The way it stayed present throughout the whole story was just wonderful good job.

Hey, I am here to share some news with you. This story has been added to the Forbidden category over on A Drop of Romeo!

Here's the Review:

"Helen Thinks: I have to admit that I was giddy with excitement when this suggestion landed in my inbox. It’s a little known fact that I love stories that have an interracial storyline; A Time to Kill; Noughts and Crosses; you name it then I’ve either read it or you’ve made me hunt it down! It’s an era that you have to write about carefully and when it’s done well, especially stories of the forbidden love that occurred, then it is a real rarity.

“The Bear and the Pecan Tree” was the story that Findus came up with after SKoW released the prompt “all he asked for was one perfect day before the inevitable happened” and the storyline captures this beautifully. It is the story of a black man and the married white woman that he has fallen in love with meeting for one last time before he has to head North to find work. The highlight for me was that this story was told in the same style Uncle Remus does in the Song of the South with the use of little story, fictitious characters to get his point across hence the title. It gave you that southern feel of storytelling.

It was a pure stroke of genius that Findus wrote in the first person because the reader can imagine listening to the gruff tone of a man but also the underlying hope and love that he has for the woman. Writing in first person has helped build empathy for the situation because I sure know my heart was in my throat while breaking as I read every single word. Twice. I read this lovely story twice and could have happily read it again.

“The Bear and the Pecan Tree” is a rare gem on fictionpress that I would read time and time again thanks to Findus’ fabulous writing, perfect characters and a story line that really is a treat to read."

Keep writing,

Helen xo

This is just so perfect and well-written and lovely. I loved the analogy of the bear and the oriole with the pecan tree, and I loved how it was a theme throughout the whole piece. I was also happy that the ending was hopeful, in a way. Thank you so much for writing this! :)

That was absolutely beautiful. Great job :)

Wonderful writing. You have a gift.

... I don't know what to say too this...
It was great, and hart, but really good. Thank you

This was very cool. I like the analogy of a bear and a pecan tree. You did a very nice job! :)

Congrats on winning the WCC!

Opening: I didn't think the opening sentence was a very strong start. I can understand the choice since the end ties in and it immediately introduces the story that is the main symbol in this story. But it didn't have much impact/grab for an opening. Maybe rephrasing it would help.

Ending: I'm really happy with this ending. On an enjoyment level, I was pleased it wasn't a tragic ending. I was expecting a bad turn at the end, but it worked out so nicely. Hope is good. Also, I liked how the end line tied in with the opening story, bringing a new ending to the story the narrator spent so long trying to rewrite.

Writing/Techniques: Overall, I thought this was a well-written piece. There were some nice details in the descriptions, like the wilted cotton and personification of the Mississippi. Two things stood out to me, though: there was a lot of repetition of the idea that these two shouldn't meet, and it didn't seem to build to anything. In one or two paragraphs I think it was repeated 2-3 times and that just confused me a little. Secondly, the narrator's voice didn't seem consistent to me. This one's harder to put into words, but something about the poetic terms in the descriptions and the narrator's actions just didn't mesh in my head. Like his outlook on life didn't show in what he did. This may have just been my perception of it. It wasn't a huge deal, and I mostly forgot it by the midpoint of the story.

Characters: I liked how you compared the two to the bear and the oriole but let the characters stand on their own as well. They weren't completely symbolic, and the nuances of the roles they played evolved in a realistic manner. It was a little strange to me that we didn't find out her name until almost the end (rather than the start or not at all), but that's just a nitpick. I was very satisfied with this aspect of the story.

Beautiful story!

Wonderful story! I liked how you used the bear and pecan tree story throughout the piece, it made a beautiful counterpoint to the events. I also liked that you used the man as the PoV character, it was interesting to see how he reacted and considered the situation.

The whole love story was well-written and interesting. The relationship was well described and very romantic. I think I would have liked a little bit more of conflict though, maybe having a real meeting between the characters and the husband, or having a close brush with being discovered.

Wow this was absolutely beautiful! congratulations on winning the prompt; you really deserved it

This was really powerful. I liked how you used the bear and pecan tree motif without it being overbearing. And even though I was expecting a bad ending, you know, the "inevitable" you really tied things together in the end and created hope. I really enjoyed this. Thank you.