Reviews for The Rules Of Piracy
florairmatylee chapter 4 . 8/29/2014
Takes me forever to actually get on this site, haha- I've been trying my hand on original fiction but eh, I haven't got my own plot yet. But yours- I love the direction! The pirate-historical novel thing right here is amazing! Honestly, I haven't read a good story like this so I hope you update soon!
florairmatylee chapter 4 . 8/12/2014
Oh my God, how the plot thickens. I love the fact that she was so confident and smart and I don't know, I just really enjoy her character.
Bitter Luka chapter 4 . 8/11/2014
i love your story amazing! so amazing i could cry TTvTT
tstul006 chapter 1 . 5/21/2014
One thing I noticed throughout the piece is that you tend to repeat information. For example you stated more than once that Asarel was a leader in trade and also that the dining room was rarely used. These are minor details and should only be mentioned the one time because mentioning the more really slows down the reading flow.

I Like Areena, I wish she didn't have to marry the duke though. He sounds awful. It fits the time era that you've got set up though. The daughter forced to marry for the good of the family. But I hope she is able to escape it.

I felt your Dialogue was really nice as well. It seemed to fit the decade you were going for. (Of course I know it's an AU but you know what I mean.)
Jitterbug Blues chapter 1 . 5/21/2014
I found myself enjoying this :) Your writing style is very, very accessible and readable: you don't ramble, and you know how to pull the reader in. I like that the narration is so relatively straightforward, without being bogged down by useless melodrama or too heavy scenery porn (sensory details are important, but can quickly get awkward in first person POV, hence why it's important to keep 'em sparse, and only to use them when they are really important,'ve been doing all along). Anyhow, what really works for me is how simple the writing is, but how it's effectively engaging. I like entertaining writing, so this was more than good enough for me :)

I guess I could kind of relate to your heroine's voice? She seems very matter of fact, very sharp-witted and intelligent. I like that she's angered and annoyed by the prospect of being shipped off into marriage, but I also liked that she wasn't making an open fuss about it, but some more subdued. It seemed more realistic, and refreshing? I don't know how often I have seen heroines fall into hysterics, but Areena took it in strides and privately gave her emotions vent. That makes her seems smarter, more resourceful? I liked how you gave us insight into her thought processes, showing why the Duke was dangerous and why she didn't want to marry him. It seemed all very reasonable and showed that she's a smart, observant girl. It worked for me, because I grew to like her.

I guess...the writing could be a bit less rambly, but eh, I'm actually just fishing/looking around for some concrit. XD Actually, i have nothing: this wasn't the most refined prose, no, but it was enjoyable and the plot seems engaging so far, and that's enough for me :) (more than enough, actually :D).
florairmatylee chapter 3 . 5/18/2014
Ohmygod... I feel like the plot is thickening. Is it just me? I know it can't be. I feel like something huge is going to happen, and that Clara is going to be important, and ee I'm freaking out.
Saffron123 chapter 1 . 4/13/2014
This starts with a bang. I like your writing voice it really hops and has a nice rhythm. So far I haven't connected with Areena. She kind of feels like a Mary Sue, but I hope as this progresses and her character develops that she'll be much more.

The ending of this was the best part. I was really starting to get intrigued and then it was stopped for the next chapter.

I know this is probably more of a mid-draft, but one thing I'd caution you about is starting to many sentences with "I". If you look at the top the first five paragraphs after the first all start with "I..." That's terribly repetitive. Also there is a little too much tell and it keeps us removed from Areena and in many ways.

Also all of the sentences seem to be medium-length and front-loaded types. It might be good practice to vary it up and could really make this story crackle. You're already a good writer, but you could go farther.

I enjoyed this.
florairmatylee chapter 2 . 3/15/2014
Okay, I'm too lazy to log in. But this chapter was perfect! All that time, gone without an update, and yet I can still remember what it was this story was about. That's dedication, I guess. Plus, your writing style is perfect! The amount of imagery, and the subtle backstory, as well as the interactions and the subplots that you manage to capture! I can't wait for the next chapter. :)
ZoeysZone chapter 2 . 11/16/2013
MORE! Update soon, please.
BloodWillSpill chapter 1 . 1/31/2013
A nice start. Despite loving "sassy and tough as nails" female characters, I want more dimensions to Areena. Like, can she be compassionate and brave? Hopefully ill see these attributes. Um, the one sentence paragraphs were numerous and it might be better to add more meat to them so they aren't so awkward and alone :). Still, nice chapter!
Jensi chapter 2 . 1/10/2013
Good start here! I am glad that you are working with a new story and I am here if you need any help. :)
TequilaMockingbird19 chapter 1 . 1/6/2013
Interesting chapter. It got me excited, there. The way people end chapters with cliff hangers always intrigue me. :) I think the setting was well-described though there was little that really showed when and where all this happened.
Most of the time, stories with big, flowery words don't appeal to me but I guess this was an exception as it helped show a clearer picture of the setting.
For some unclear reason, I like the hysterical laughing fit near the end. I just can't seem to see why just yet. Maybe it's because it shows how all the expectations Areena faces drives her to the edge of things (?)
I think the dialogues were good... A bit forced here and there but I guess I'll have to read on to figure out whether their character is supposed to be like that.
Overall, nice chapter!
may-bear chapter 2 . 1/5/2013
update soon would love to read more
Author-K-J-Lee chapter 2 . 1/4/2013
"I was suffocating" is a brilliant first line for the chapter. It captured my attention immediately.
Since this is a fantasy set in an imaginable world I would change the french window reference. Instead maybe describe what it looks like and its made up origin (one of your fantasy world's countries) and from there on out refer to it as that.
Personally I don't get a long with the I perspective so it's hard for me to comment on it positively.
It's all a bit telling, I believe it would read better with a little more detail and showing.
Good luck with your writing :)
Skyward Ending chapter 2 . 1/3/2013
French windows? France?

Again, you should watch your tenses.

I thought it was odd that she described herself as looking at her subjects poignantly.

I think you're filling out too many archetypes and tropes (darling dead mother, cruel guards bent on chasing a supposedly insignificant fourteen-year-old, girl disguised as a boy, etc.) which would be okay in moderation. I'm glad you extended the dog not liking people to the dog generally disliking men, though. I also found myself craving more descriptions

I liked that she was bluffing about shooting the gun, although the fact that she did it at all was pushing my suspension of disbelief. So far she hasn't come across as relatable; on the contrary, I'm rather put off by her, which admittedly makes this a little difficult to read. Of course, you might be going for a really arrogant heroine, in which case you're doing fine, although you could still spend more time going through her though process. The whole "I curse a lot" thing doesn't fit with her voice; it sounds like a child trying to be an adult.

This sort of stuff (escape, disguises) takes a lot of thought to execute; I think you could've spent a lot more time writing about that. I get the sense that you're trying to make everything very action-driven, but given the subject matter, I don't think that's much of an issue. I believe that with stories as adventure-centric as this, character development is often what needs the most attention. I think the employment of first person makes this harder. I also found myself craving more descriptions and at least a little history/facts about this world.
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