|Reviews for Flicker|
| Opopanax chapter 1 . 7/29/2013
Very well done. These types of stories have always, always fascinated me - the Matrix, Lovecraft, stuff like that - the idea that nothing is as it seems, that reality shifts imperceptibly, that things might lurk just beyond the corner of your eye. In real life you can sometimes find it too. How often have you sat at your keyboard and suddenly a word you typed just looks ... wrong? You look it up in the dictionary and it is spelled right, but it still looks wrong.
Again, a very good job. And yes, I wonder where Joseph and Lisa went to. Or were they, in fact, crazy as bedbugs in a skillet?
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/1/2013
First off, all writers brave enough to try first-person present-tense have special places in my heart... especially writers like you, because you have passed the point of trying it and can actually pull it off. I tip my hat to you!
So when I was reading this, right off the bat I liked Lisa. Anyone who reads this will immediately connect with her - Who hasn't had those days when they're constantly jerking their heads around, trying to locate twinges of movement in the corner of their eyes? Who hasn't, at least once, felt lonely at a party or in a room full of relatives? Who doesn't have memories that will always confuse them?
No one. So you did a really good job of making Lisa believable. I don't think there'd be anyone who couldn't somehow connect or feel for your main character. Well done.
"Everyone thinks Uncle Joseph is crazy, and maybe he is. He drinks. He tells wild stories. But for a little girl feeling lonely when her closest family surrounds her, he is a blessing. No one wants to talk to him. No one wants to talk to me. We have great conversations." - This part right here? GREAT. Maybe it's just me, because I can directly relate, but you've really got something golden here.
Sometimes during the story the writing would get a little too vague, at least for me. It really only happened once or twice, when Lisa refers to her uncle as "He" and I thought she was talking about Eric. (this was all before the flashback. After that, things cleared up.)
All in all, great job! While most horror stories skip detail and dive right into gore or chaos, you took a more delicate route, and it paid off. Due to your wording and style, the reader gets clear images in their head as they read, like watching a 3D movie. Plus, there's a down-to-earth, dry humor in your writing, which was entertaining. Thumbs up and pats on the back!
P.S. Your profile was very nice. However, I must apologize for the mess I left behind. You might want to check on your butler, and bring something that can cut through a good four or five layers of duct-tape. I assure you that he did everything he could to stop me from jumping him and stealing the antidote from his back pocket (at least I hope that’s what was in that vial), so don’t blame the poor chap for my escape. You also might want to look into fixing the automatic pinsetter in your bowling alley. I had to climb through the back of it and blow a hole in your ceiling (with an alcoholic beverage I ordered from the butler… before I tied him up.). It was all to write this review, honestly. If you look on the left corner of the ledge of the middle stained-glass window, you should find three stones, each the size of a nickel. They’re uncut diamonds. Don’t ask how I acquired them. Hopefully this will compensate for the damage of my escape.
We wouldn’t want you to have to sell one of those tapestries, now would we?
| Esin of Sardis chapter 1 . 12/29/2012
very good job. i like the whole idea of the flickers. well written, good idea, good job! :)
also, i must congratulate you on your ability to tell a short story that doesn't necessarily sound like the prologue to something. mine always end up like that. not that you couldn't do more with it if you wanted to.
and what's on the other side? what's reality? i know you left it open-ended on purpose, but it would be cool to see!