|Reviews for Nameless|
| JWT chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
You did a fantastic job of making me want to rip open that damn parcel before she finally did. I really enjoyed this and I hope you post more at some point. I think you write very well and I can easily get swept along by it.
Here are my few nitpickety bits:
'Whispers spread through the masses like wildfire, all the while, heavy droplets of water continued to splash down on my shoes.' I don't think there should be two commas there as the way that it stands I'm not sure if the meaning is "All the while, whispers spread...and heavy droplets..." or "Whispers...and all the while heavy droplets..." (I hope that makes sense, I'm having a hard time explaining exactly what I mean by that).
'I was seeking for anything' - "Seeking" sort of means "searching for" rather than just "searching", so you do not need the word "for" afterwards.
'Here he paused. "Oh, and...' - I wasn't sure if the "Oh" here was added intentionally to make Johann sound like he was trying too hard to sound casual (in which case fair enough) but on initial reading my first reaction was that it didn't sound quite natural to have an "Oh" after a pause, as the pause implies that he is considering what to say next whereas the "Oh" implies something has suddenly sprung to mind. Of course there are multiple ways of reading this, so you might want to totally ignore this bit of pickiness.
You say that Johann was her uncle's best friend twice rather close together, which doesn't really need repeating.
Sorry for being irritatingly picky with details! I see it has been a long time since you posted this first chapter but I really hope you are still working on the story. Good luck!
| Charcoalsketch chapter 1 . 3/19/2013
Wow - this has really intrigued me. I'd love to know more :) I like Yvonne's character - though maybe she seems a little detached as she isn't that sad even though her uncle's died? Perhaps it's because they weren't close. The blog idea was so interesting.
Also, I read on your profile you did Latin (Quintus does rule!) and you speak so many languages so well! I'm really jealous.
Can't wait for more _
| PeacockBlue chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
this is really good. I'm sorry I didn't read it earlier :'( wow you are a truly awesome writer.
| 693010SWLWWTala chapter 1 . 12/31/2012
This story is amazing! When are you going to update? I know it's been like two hours and all, but still!
Eagerly awaiting more,