|Reviews for Skin and Bones|
| 42istheanwser chapter 1 . 1/1/2013
Good, except the description of the accident makes it seem slow and gradual, perhaps you should try to convey it suddenness, how the friend looked (you should also describe her at the beginning), if the main character was injured (tell us her name and age in the story), or how the car was, the emergency response, the medics who couldn't save her in time. Also, more clarity, why did she want to party, why was her friend drunk, was she drunk too? Also, this is just me nitpicking, but "frozen and raining" or "freezing and raining" would work better then "freezing raining." And, would a complete stranger say that much? How would she know she was dying, and that it was intentional? Perhaps she could promise her things were going to be okay, she'd get help for her etc. etc. and it would still have the effect you're going for. And, why don't her parents care about her? Overall, this is very good, I hope you write more. I know this review was kind of harsh (sorry, I'm kind of nitpicky) but maybe you could review my story and get revenge!