Reviews for Beta
Clear World chapter 1 . 10/16/2013
Ah, how I feel for Grant. All these otuku stuff and I bet he doesn't even know much about japan (unless he lives they?) Anyways, ahhh bed wetter. How much I want to laugh at such a poor poor child.

Also, humorous beginning and it sets up the story fast and well. Action is... quick. Very quick and the monster's movement is rather weird and bazaar (sleeping in the middle of a chase), but it seems to fit well with the mood of the this story which already seems really light hearten.

Also, why did you bring up the whole 'copy from Bleach' thing? Was it needed or our you trying to go for a certain style of writing?
cmaej chapter 7 . 10/16/2013
I actually wanted to comment how Asa's powers is similar to Marko's, but it's obvious that you already know that so I left it alone.

The fact that Mathys only like flat-chested women makes him reminiscent of a pedophile. :P

Unrelated to the actual chapter, I realized that the guardians don't always appear human, with the arrival of Rob. Perhaps that's the reason why Saturn refused to remove his helmet.
cmaej chapter 6 . 10/13/2013
That bad boy guy reminds me of the red-headed character from "Ouran High School Host Club"; the one with the Yakuza connections.

Well, Grant is building himself quite the harem. I'm betting Asa's overprotectiveness is delaying Grant's guardian's arrival.

I'm surprised that Lola and Shibaki arrived at the training grounds together, since they fought each other as well. Nice fight though, I'm glad Asa can hold her own without relying too much on Saturn.
cmaej chapter 5 . 10/12/2013
I'm going to try to do 70.

It was a good fight scene, although I still think that Shibaki still overreacted. I'll take the hint and assume there something more to her feelings.

I didn't know that the "naming your guardian" system was that easy. I thought a psychic connection must be made and they come to a mutual agreement on his name... or something to that nature.

I don't quite understand why Lola gave Grant CPR. Is he sick? Did she not attack him, but actually saved him in their first encounter?
cmaej chapter 4 . 10/10/2013
That's number 65, King! I'm sure you'll enjoy the updated chapters of Elemental Warriors.

"... I never thought just looking at her from behind would make me this crazy." LOL I am just making this statement dirtier than intended? Please tell me I'm not the only one.

I'm surprised to see Betas fighting each other. Beating each other up is one thing, but she wants to kill? Or maybe Shibaki is just being rhetorical? Of course, being high schoolers, this can happen, but is there someone who can regulate this? The teacher, maybe?

That bit with Kisuke and Grant was funny. Poor Grant can't catch a break.
cmaej chapter 3 . 10/10/2013
The beginning made it seemed like Kisuke was a super villain. Nice twist.

I thought there was something significant about the teacher. The twins' mother moved in that area specifically for that reason, right? As a matter of fact, it's odd that she knew about her children. I was under the impression that Asa hid her ability to see ghosts for fear of appearing crazy. Maybe their mother has a history too.
cmaej chapter 2 . 10/10/2013
Grant is sure turning out to be a ladies' man. I didn't expect that. Just like the last chapter, a lot happened that I don't have time to digest. They move, start new school, and meet a tsundere girl who is just like them. All this happened with taking the time to focus on the characters' emotions. You did mentioned that they were upset, but were they a little bit suspicious that it occurred right after the tiger monster incident?

"You're both Amazon warriors." LOL You sure like creating strong, female characters, King. I feel sorry for your male characters. They all seem to always turn into the servants.
Chiisutofupuru chapter 17 . 10/4/2013
Your writing style may not have improved but it is still unique and cool to me, the fights still read the same as it did in Shinigami Twin, I liked that about the story.

What kind of power is Lily going to unlock and what is the last word? Was there something I missed? Is there a clue hidden somewhere in the previous chapters (Or even in Shinigami Twin)? I'm intrigued!

Go Asa go Asa GO! Loving her more and more; she didn't even need her spirit! AND she conjured two blades like the shinigami once AGAIN mentioned. You're killing me with that!

Keep on writing and I will return...

Fierce Ookami chapter 17 . 10/4/2013
i was so happy to see this was updated. great chapter it was awesome to see Asa defeat the gang and then Lily. the story is well written as far as the plot goes but you need to work on spelling and grammer. some parts are a little hard to understand but i was able to figure it out. keep it up!

-Fierce Ookami
Y. S. Wong chapter 16 . 8/5/2013
The sudden introduction of witches into this story does strike me as rather strange. Oh well. I'm sure you have reasons for it.

Oh look. The Swimming Pool Dudes are back! Foiled again.

Lol. So the kidnapping was just a red herring? How... anti-climactic. But I'm guessing this is gonna segue into the why-the-witches-are-important part of the story.

All of a sudden, Chinese. Thundy would be proud.

Your humor's getting better. Some really memorable moments in this chapter. boomerface.
Y. S. Wong chapter 15 . 8/3/2013
More breaking of the fourth wall. Lol.

It is rather funny that Asa would be scared of ghosts. Wonder if that has any implications plot-wise.

I was about to ship Mathys x Shibaki but... he's scared of boobs? WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU SON-oh. I suppose I'd be scared too if I were in Mathys' shoes.

You'd think Lily would be better prepared for a fight given she's a witch. Oh well. We'll see how she does under the dome.
Chiisutofupuru chapter 16 . 7/15/2013
So, how and why were all of the locks still intact after the broom was out?

(You think the 'boys' would be a little more aware after they find out a captive is on the loose. I think they could've at least put up a small fight...)

Sixteen chapters in... where are the shinigami? mentioning the spirits earlier was just a tease! I'm kinda hoping they're going to pop out of nowhere soon.

Fierce Ookami chapter 16 . 7/3/2013
i like this story alot! its funny but has serious moments. im still confused at what Grrant did to Shibaki lol there are a lot of mistakes through out the story so far for future chapters be sure to proofread. cant wait for the next one!
Chiisutofupuru chapter 15 . 6/19/2013
Lily seems full of herself I think, they should lock up the broom too before she does something with it.
Y. S. Wong chapter 14 . 6/18/2013
Drills ftw! New arc start!

...I'll spare you the Japanese lesson on the difference between shinigami and death reaper.

And Grant's harem grows. Again!

And all of a sudden, Beta turns into a delinquent story. To be honest, the whole schtick with the fight against the delinquent gang felt kinda filler-ey, but it was entertaining nonetheless.
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