|Reviews for Nameless|
| TheRobotQueen chapter 1 . 6/1/2013
I should've reviewed before this, but better late than never, right? Anyways I wanted to say that I like this story. It's good, and I think you have great ideas.
Keep doing what you do!
| myheart4you chapter 11 . 5/31/2013
Don't worry about the chapter being boring. It's short enough that readers won't get bored anyway.
And it wasn't weak. Although there were some errors (I don't remember what they were, but minor things), it blew my mind. She left him? And time passed, and of course she didn't know how much because, well, I guess you would just lose sense of time. Huh.
I would like more of a reasoning as to why she wants to find him again, though. Is she getting a bit lonely? Maybe seeing a person that actually cared a little scared her off, but also cracked that brick wall around her heart lol
| myheart4you chapter 10 . 5/31/2013
For some reason, this chapter made me think that she is a vampire or something.
It was short, but I suppose I did get a little more insight, although you could have incorporated the flashback in a little more smoothly. Message me if you want help with that :)
| Anon chapter 9 . 5/25/2013
Hey this story is pretty interesting Ive never seen an idea like it. Sorry you aren't getting any reviews but I really like your writing style
| myheart4you chapter 9 . 5/26/2013
But... But I reviewed!
Nooooo. Don't stop this story! I like it soo much!
Dude. Don't even worry about not getting feedback. It takes time. I say you should continue :$
| myheart4you chapter 8 . 5/25/2013
Normally, when I read a good book, I try to review on every chapter. However, this one kept me reading so I didn't want to stop, so I'll review now.
First of all, yes. You should continue. This is great, and pretty original. At least, I haven't read anything like it. (Besides Twilight but this is so much better than that)
That part where she remembers how she tried to kill herself made me wince. I'm glad you included the part with the neck breaking, since most people who write about hangings leave that part out. It's terrible that she had to feel the pain of that. Ugh. *shudders*
I love, love, love the way you've portrayed your girl. She's clearly mostly numb of all feeling, having gotten used to everyone dying. She must have stopped caring about people years ago, realizing that they were just going to die and leave her alone again, so she decided to revel in the alone-ness.
Yet, she must have some feelings, buried deep down. If she didn't, she would have completely murdered Daniel.
As for Daniel, I have a feeling that he became whatever they are quite a while after her. He still clearly had emotions, after all, he was happy to see her. He was glad there was someone else, while she wanted him to leave.
I kind of feel like she's gone a tiny bit crazy from being alone so long. I mean, she seems kinda bi-polar too haha.
Anyway, I hope I'm not over analyzing your story, and if I am, maybe it helped in some way.
You should continue :)
| SyriaSingaporeSpain chapter 7 . 4/6/2013
So, I've read through everything and these are basically my thoughts. Firstly, I like the idea! Yeah, it's been done before, but so have all of our stories - it's how we write them, as well as the characters and details, that make them unique and different. I think there's a lot of potential with this, and it's very refreshing that your character isn't a vampire or any known thing - you can make it your own!
I generally like chapters to be pretty sizeable, but I thought that the length of your first chapter kind of worked with the storyline, as it was almost written like a diary or a record. I was wondering how you were going to deal with just having one, solitary character (no dialogue!), but obviously Daniel solves that problem.
I'm not sure how you've planned your story - do you have an overall idea of what is going to happen, or do you just improvise with every new chapter? It seems to be moving very fast, and maybe that's what you want, but if not, I would perhaps advise taking things a bit more slowly? You may have an overall idea of what is going to happen, but you can start to think about little things to put in as well - do you want humour, interesting dialogue, beautiful descriptions, etc? Even if you want the characters to be mysterious, slowing down the plot and giving the reader little details like that will make them understand the characters, think about them, sympathise with them, etc. The more we have experienced these characters, the more we will understand why the girl wants to get rid of Daniel, why she does certain things, etc. It's important to remember that not everything the characters do has to dramatic or astonishing - you can weave little subplots in and out of the main story. Like TV episodes - there is a definite plot and story, and all the characters move forward on a journey, but little things happen along the way.
So yeah, to summarise: I liked the story and your ideas, but think that (unless you are deliberately moving very very fast) it could do with some fleshing out. At the moment, I don't feel like I know the characters very well at all, and the better I know a character, the more interested I am. You don't necessarily have to reveal a lot about the girl's past all at once, but giving lots of details about her in the present, and slowing down her interaction with Daniel will contribute to that. Imagine it like a TV episode in your head - what do you need to describe about the scene to convey what's in your head to the readers?
Good job so far :)
| E. Awesomesauce chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
Cool idea! Keep going!
| E. Awesomesauce chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
Cool idea! This girl... she kind of creeps me out...
| I3writing chapter 6 . 3/22/2013
Really neat idea! This is pretty good!
| dulepreddiling chapter 5 . 3/7/2013
Update it! I like it
| whileilive chapter 1 . 1/2/2013