Reviews for Warmth
Luna Abbot chapter 1 . 7/19/2017
You write really good, but what's going on? *_*
I'm going to keep reading!
Fayechii chapter 15 . 5/25/2015
I absolutely loved this chapter. Well, except the fact that Maggie was taken, this chapter was wonderful.

That Devon and Shannie moment was beautiful (even with Devon on the verge of dying). Shannie's character is finally developing. I like it wasn't rushed. It's nice to see gradual development towards her character. But it wasn't only Shannie who was undergoing development. Your plot is also moving so we are finally getting a glimpse of you masterplan. I'm quite interested to see how you will do your world-building.

Don't worry about not being funny. In the first place, your story had drawn me in bc of the humor. And I don't remember most of what I read,too so I don't know about the small details that are contradicting.
Fayechii chapter 14 . 4/6/2015
This is definitely a long chapter. But I don't dislike it. Your pace is faster now. And yes..finally there is more development. I like to know more about Fira. I think from all the stories I have encountered here in fictionpress, your concept is by far more interesting than most.

I have one concern though... the paragraphs are too overwhelming. I wish you could break it down a little.

I love the development in both Shannie and Devon here individually and in their relationship.

I prefer long chapters, by the way.
Fayechii chapter 12 . 3/21/2015
That was quite short but great, as always. Although I was greatly confused at the beginning. I don't understand. What just happened? I felt like I just skipped a chapter. But the latter part was heart-warming. I really admire Devon's love for Shannie. And he's so damn cute. I wish Shannie would remember him soon.

Btw, don't you ever think of dropping this. As long as you have at least one reader, don't stop. This story definitely still has a long way to go.
Fayechii chapter 10 . 1/23/2015
Wait, does she finally remember?

Shannie and Devon's conversations never fail to amuse me. Then add the energetic Maggie, it gets even more entertaining than it already is. I still don't know what exactly is the drink thief's role here though.

Can't wait for the next update! :)
Fayechii chapter 9 . 1/12/2015
Hiiii! New reader here!

I love your story! It has the right amount of humour and drama so it's very entertaining.

And Devon! I knew it! I knew 'it' was Devon! Haha!

This is really interesting. I have yet to discover about them. Please don't ever think (or joke) about abandoning a story. You never know how many hearts you will break.

Btw, it may be my opinion only but I think it'll help if you try to separate flashbacks and present time so it'll be less confusing for readers.

Can't wait for the next chapter! x
Guest chapter 1 . 4/23/2014
A very well written story much description and intense storyline. Love the orginality of the story better than all other science fiction stories. Very WELL DONE !
Eclectic Lion chapter 8 . 3/22/2014
oh please continue! I've been through my fair share of writers block and all and I know it ain't pretty :/
I can wait patiently for each chapter and I'm always excited when I see a notification for this story pop up in my email!
I finally had time to read all the recent updates of the stories I follow and-
I'm rambling...
anywho, please continue! I love this story :)
Eclectic Lion chapter 7 . 2/14/2014
yes! an update!
and now things are getting intense! even more of the past revealed with that heart-wrenching story of Shannie and Devin with their family...
I seriously cannot wait for the next update!
but take your time! genius takes work :)
Benedict A.86 chapter 6 . 7/23/2013
You have to be one of FP's best kept secret... Um, You and your brother, I mean. Have you joined a forum yet? As much as I'd love to bottle you away so that you write for me and only me, I just have to share you. More people must feel what I feel whenever I read your words.

Anyway, thanks for a loooong, satisfying chapter :)

How can I go from chuckling and snickering to brow forrowing sobreity so seamlessly without even knowing it? You have some real skill.

Okay, so, in the flashbacks Shannie and Devon think and act a bit mature for their age. I don't know, I kinda feel weird about it. I mean, I understand they're a rather precocious pair, but...

And speaking of Devon, I was pretty smug thinking he was the coffee thief, but that got punctured real quick. You sly writer you.

And what do you mean you're not good with the lighthearted stuff?!

A few formatting suggestions for clarity: Consider breaking scene changes with a horizontal line, using FP's doc manager that is. If, for some reason, you can't use the doc manager, a few dots or asterix between the changes would do the trick. And also, when Shanni's thought slip from narration to speech-thought, perhaps you could place the speech-thought on a new paragraph.

And lastly...

WHY YOU CHANGE PEN-NAME, NO?
Benedict A.86 chapter 5 . 7/23/2013
Hey, didn't I review this chapter already?!

I remember laughing so hard, that I feared I was having an epileptic attack or something.

And the humour is balanced out with wome serious emotional dorama about her past. I guess we now see why she can be so jaded.

All I can say is, you're building one heck of a character, with Shannie here. And now with the arrival of some new interesting supporting cast...
Did I favourite this thing already? -,-

Happy belated 4th of July!
Eclectic Lion chapter 6 . 7/19/2013
i like how you're slowly weavin in the past with the present ad not just all at once. Notti fast paced and not too slow!
I love this chapter as much as the others but i have to comment that I'm sometimes confused about who is talking. i can eventually sort out who is talking but, a little help would be good especially since you have two "its" in the house. i imagine it getting a bit confuzzling later. the fact that she refers to the other guy as the "deink theif" is helpful and creative though!
I hope that made sense hahaha I tend to ramble when it comes to giving my honest opinion to a good story!
until next time, keep up the great work! :D
UltimatePandaz chapter 2 . 7/12/2013
it's a great story. I wonder how the teacher is going to teach Shannie.
UltimatePandaz chapter 1 . 7/11/2013
it's a funny story.
Eclectic Lion chapter 5 . 7/5/2013
Aww I wish i could have read this yesterday when it was still the fourth of july :[
No matter though because the chapter is still as great as it would've been reading it fresh off the press haha
This chapter was interesting in that it had elements of emotional stuff and comical stuff with Shannie's orphanage background and that new fire fellow.
while we're on that subject, I can already see that guy getting on Shannie's nerves XD
Great Job and I hope you had a fantastic fourth of july! :D
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