Reviews for Forever Mine
Freiheit98 chapter 1 . 6/27/2013
I like it. It's sensual and alluring, but at the same time descriptive and drawing. I like it how the narrator describes the boy and how she is reacting to him. My favourite line is 'and so our special journey begins.' Love is always a special journey. Good job!
Lolitroy chapter 1 . 5/4/2013
For your first love poem, it was good :3

Though it was mostly descriptive and I didn't really feel any emotion while reading.
ahorizonforthenewbirds chapter 1 . 3/11/2013
Nice :)

Constructive Criticism:
I'm not sure what to make of the style. The bold print makes it rather irritating, and the excessive commas don't help. I think it would be a lot neater if you split the lines into stanzas - for example, "His loving words, spoken from kissable lips, entrance my mind, giving me pure bliss." could be "His loving words / spoken from kissable lips / entered my mind, / giving me pure bliss" (and I think it should be 'entered' as well). That would make the reading easier, as the commas make me pause and that disrupts the flow far too much. You've also got the lines rhyming, so breaking them up would add to the rhyme scheme as well. The theme isn't anything new - I used to write love poems too, but gave up :p There are some cliches in it, but it's a good place to begin...

Positive Criticism:
Though not a very original theme, it's still a cute poem. :) The narrator is obviously infatuated with the boy, but the poem's short length makes that excessive love bearable and easy to relate. The last line is great; I love "our special journey begins" because it puts into four words the emotions of new lovers.

Overall, the poem was good. There are lots of ways to improve, but it was great for a beginner, and the only way to go is forward! :)
MagicWords chapter 1 . 2/13/2013
I really loved this. Sweet and honest. There were some lines like "giving me pure bliss" where I thought you could come up with a better verb, but overall it was very lovable. Great work!
ImmortalHeartofFlame chapter 1 . 1/27/2013
This is really good! I love the details you put in it. It makes it very easy to imagine. :)
Cain101595 chapter 1 . 1/24/2013
I like this poem, you have a good ability for writing poems, I think you might put a little to much thought into writing poems though if that makes sense? Try making it more emotion then thought when you write poems, cause that's when a masterpiece is born. It is really good no less though x)
Felrain chapter 1 . 1/11/2013
This made me smile to myself! It sounds so adorable and dream like!