|Reviews for Colorless Green Ideas Sleep Furiously|
| Complex Variable chapter 1 . 1/12/2013
You should come up with a name for the world/story-world associated with GBS, and indicate in the summaries which of your stories take place in that world. I do the same thing for my Aurhìm stories. I just think it would give prospective readers a reference point; i.e. "Well, I liked GBS, so this must be awesome, too!"
[caught the ball dexterously,] - - - that adverb needs to die, and get replaced by a descriptive phrase. ;)
[idée fixe] - - - should be in italics
[(627 to be exact)] - - - since this occurs in spoken dialogue, I know have a very interesting question to ask: how does one "speak" a parenthesis? XD
[But I shall not tread thither. For therein lies madness.] - - - Be careful, you don't want this to become your readers' mottos about your work! XD
["Bullshit,"] - - - since you cut off your previous speaker with this line, it should say ["—Bullshit,"]
[No sense of the epic or heroic.] - - - "the heroic"
I like the first part of this chapter; it's quite clear. And, somehow, I can easily follow their conversation. Don't know how you did that, but still, great job on that front. xD
[She frowned. "I can't stand that awful Karajan."] - - - von Karajan is awesome for Beethoven or Brahms. ;)
The second section works well with the first section, although, I think you could have done a better job tying the "old man" sections to them. Also, the relatively-long passage near the end of the third section feels out of place in this chapter, probably because of the vast differences created by its length and its more stream-of-conciousness style, as opposed to the minimalist narrative style that you use in the rest of this piece.
Also, I'm starting to get a little pissy about the historicism you bring into play, here—the references to WWII, to an Axis victory, to real-world history. They work here; the problem lies in the light that they shed on GBS. It makes GBS feel somewhat vacuous, in retrospect; the level of historical/real-world ties that you're presenting here (and, honestly, they help to "ground" your story and make it more approachable) makes me feel like GBS should have more information along those lines. I think it would be a quick way of providing contextual/world-building information to GBS that your writing style sometimes has difficulty providing.
IMO, this is one of your better narrative pieces. Lyrical and hauntingly minimalistic, while nonetheless cogent and grounded enough to be digested with relative ease. Let's hope that it stays that way come chapter 2. ;D
| True Talker chapter 1 . 1/10/2013
I had found this interesting to read. Really.