|Reviews for Last Song on the Wind|
| Infected Beliefs chapter 1 . 1/27/2013
As a writer I challenge you...make this into an epic poem, it's almost there already.
That being said I thought it was fantastic. Your last line "And perhaps it was time for them to die" was a perfect way to end it and sent shivers down my spine. I love well written and placed sentences.
I peaked at your profile, and though I haven't looked at any of your other works yet, if the writing is equally good I am going to have to take the time to do so. You can be sure to find other reviews from me popping up in the near future.
Good work, I thoroughly enjoyed.
| nightfuries chapter 1 . 1/13/2013
Oooh, very nice! You managed to get a whole history and extermination of a race into less than 250 words, which is an incredible skill in itself. I was a tad confused with the third and fourth last paragraphs (took me a second to figure out who "they" might be), and I was a bit unsure of the dragon's ages. I thought you were describing the ages of three dragons for a second.
But overall, fantastic job, as usual :) Looking forward to more!
| rust phoenix chapter 1 . 1/13/2013
Your writing style is beautifully descriptive and myth-like, and really fits the content of the story. Your plot is also excellent and emotionally involving.
| Complex Variable chapter 1 . 1/11/2013
Too short! XD
[She of the obsidian scales and darkest violet wing membrane] - - - "membrane" sounds out of place here—it sounds too medical.
If your dragons can live so long, they would have to have a relatively small population, otherwise, with frequent breeding, they would have had to resort to cannibalizing one another because all the resources would have been used up.
[within ten years of the March's commencement, only two remained.] - - - 10 years is a bit too quick for dragon-exterminating time, wouldn't you think?
[They were gods of the skies, not the earth.] - - - FYI the notion of an "earth dragon" (or, to be more technical the "chthonic dragon") is actually quite common—hence the association of dragons living in caves, or in mounds, hoarding treasure, etc. Illuyanka (from ancient Hittite legend), Python (the dragon Apollo slew), Nidhogg (chewed on Yggdrasil's root), Lindwurms/wyrms, etc. are good examples of chthonic dragons in Indo-European mythology.
Nice to see that your dragons are flawed by their pride, though—that is good. They are too prideful to slink underground and wait out the storm. At the same time, though, they're kinda stupid (in terms of their thought processes) for NOT wanting to weather the storm. XD
[How had they learned so much? ] - - -I would recommend making this "How had men learned so much", or something along those lines; "they" feels a little too vague/detached.