|Reviews for Wishing On A Star|
| bobh20854 chapter 3 . 1/17
I am enjoying the story. only one observation: you have your and you're switched. You're is short for you are. your is used when you want to show ownership; your house, your friend, etc. If you can use you are in place of you're it is ok, if not, it is ok.
| Sintalion chapter 1 . 3/3/2013
Since you asked for a review in your profile (rudely, I might add; you don't attract reviewers like that), here is one.
Ditch the bold. There's a reason books aren't printed that way. It's a turn off. A fat guy picking his nose and eating the booger before he makes out with you, kind of turn off.
| Guest chapter 66 . 2/16/2013
Please forgive me for not writing sooner. I have enjoyed your story very much. I find it well written and well thought out. Keep "em coming.
| Gorilla0132 chapter 1 . 2/3/2013
I was initially caught off guard by the bolded font choice.
as for the first chapter, i can't really tell what it is. is it an info dump? is it a narrative? you're explaining your world to us and using names and locations that the reader doesn't understand yet.
May i advise introducing your plot ideas more slowly instead of hitting us in the face with all this information?
| CarnivorousBookworm25 chapter 5 . 2/1/2013
Only 5 chapters in, but I have enjoyed what I have read. I particularly like, the wild west phonetics you use while speaking as Hanna. Also, like the slight word substitutions for Earth, year, etc. It provides it with that little extra to make it sound like you are reading a story based around extraterrestrials.
Only criticism is how you run your characters' dialogues end-to-end inside the paragraphs. It makes it read faster than it should, and forced me to go back and re-read them the first couple of times because my eyes scrolled over them without distinguishing the lines as dialogue rather than description/character POV.
-Are you a Firefly fan? These first few chapters definitely have that same Star Trek (hyper-drive instead of warp-drive withstanding) meets Clint Eastwood/John Wayne feel.