Reviews for Memoirs From the Last Survivor
thetruthaboutsilver chapter 2 . 2/2/2013
The first chapter was really good, despite being short. I really like the description in the second chapter, it seems realistic (even though its sci-fi ish) and the idea sounds exciting. The only thing I disliked was "Me and a couple of the other scientists" (second chapter, fifth paragraph) because I have issues with grammar ;) I suppose the narrator wouldn't worry about grammar if he's in a car being transported to a random place.
Great chapter!
Truth
ScarletRose7865 chapter 5 . 1/27/2013
Okay I have to admit I don't usually like stories like this but I really enjoy yours. The use of a tape recorder is different. Most writers avoid it because trying to voice out a person's thoughts is difficult. But you executed this really well. You can almost hear the person's distress. Good work!
Check out my book sometime if you have time, I think you'd enjoy it. Maybe you can grab some pointers for your own work too.
Sombrette chapter 5 . 1/24/2013
Well, from the other review I imagine you already know what I'll say 'bout the parenthesis so I won't say it lol XD

And ooo some dialogue ;) I liked it, very natural, especially with the diction. Even though it's kinda mean, I found it funny that he's hiding under a car with his little recorder lol I liked the image it created, and I also like his retelling of the people hunting down the infected things.

I wonder if he will go with those two? Maybe not, still though, better than being alone I think. I also think the writing is getting better the more chapters into it. A lot more immediate too.

No complaints about this one, thought it was done nicely. Hope these have been somewhat helpful :)
Sombrette chapter 4 . 1/24/2013
So far I like this one best. Mostly because I get a better feel for the writer and what they are going through. It's a lot more mellow than the last chapter, but you still get that air of you're not 'safe'.

I also liked the part where he/she writes about people craving the zombie apocalypse. Finally someone with sense! lol I cannot under stand people's obsession 'cause I hate zombies.

[people have to die to become the "zombies." And every single person so vainly thought that they will be the ones who survive. Idiots.] - I liked this part, and it's true. Clever ;)

I like where this is going the more and more I read.
Sombrette chapter 3 . 1/24/2013
Please ignore the fact that I spelled Los Angeles wrong last review, it'll make me feel better ;)

I get iffy when it comes to parenthesis. I kinda feel like dashes would work better or maybe have a different effect.

['This is not goo—screaming—Okay.'] or how you have it ['This is not good. (pause)(screaming) Okay.'] Hmm... not sure. If you had the dashes, they would indicate a pause or cut off then pause so you wouldn't have to actually write out 'pause' Maybe even ellipses for a longer pause or have him say something like 'H-hold on...' I honestly can't say 'cause it's your writing so it's what you feel would work.

Like here [ As soon as I woke up I ran away as far as I could. (short sobs).] Maybe use added words so there wouldn't be a need for them.

Example: As soon as I woke up I ran away as far as I could and... a-and... and—short sobs—Okay, Okay!—moan—I'm-I'm uh... I-I'm at, ah Interstate...]

Then again, I could be completely wrong, and these are only my opinions. I might be off. Maybe parenthesis work better.

The chapter itself I liked, even though there's only a few details here and there of his surroundings I got a good feel for what was going on. I can totally picture it too. This was really good.
Sombrette chapter 2 . 1/24/2013
The pacing to this one is nice, I get an immediate 'craps happening' in this chapter :)
It even reads like he/she's speed writing, or at least, that's how I read it.

One thing I would have liked was more of the writer's own commentary. It was there in a few places like 'damn I hate saying that' and 'If it did I probably wouldn't be writing this.' to get a better connection with the writer since we are reading his/her journal entry.

[ It's a parasite called Toxoplasma, before the outbreak, it was estimated that half of the world's population were already infected by it.] - This could be two sentences. 'It's a parasite called Toxoplasma' should be its own.

[Big cities like New York and L.A., They're forgotten] this one read a little weird. Mostly because of that comma, maybe spell out L.A. so the period isn't interfering with the closing punctuation? I actually think that should all be one sentence.

Like: 'Big cities like New York and Los Angelas, they're forgotten; either abandoned or full of them.'

The info in this chapter though is very interesting :)
Sombrette chapter 1 . 1/24/2013
So since this first one is insanely short, there's not much to comment on but I shall try ;)

Overall, the suspense is good. Obviously since I'm wondering what this 'feeling' is. lol I think even though this is done on a first account type of thing and is first person, it could do with a few less 'I's' That would also make it sound more like he's talking... or her... him/her...

Like maybe: ' Like something is about to happen, like a 'calm before the storm' feeling. [I don't know why I have it, and if I'm being honest, it's kind of freaking me out.]

Maybe that one could start like: 'Don't know why I have it... And if I'm being honest? It's kind of freaking me out...— Or something like that. You don't have to though, just a little suggestion :)

The only other thing, here: [I just have a feeling. Like something is about to happen, like a 'calm before the storm' feeling.] - This can be one sentence, probably put a comma between 'feeling' and 'Like'.

Alrighty onto the next —
SunsetSprite chapter 4 . 1/24/2013
Okay, first up, I like the idea. It's an interesting conspet, putting into little daily things, like tha paper, that I find cool. However, there are little grammar erros, but they're easily fixed. The zombie appocalypse seems to be everyone's version of a story, though if it were me, I would've put it into whole chapters. Also, you need to detail a few scenes.
HOWEVER, DON'T BE OFFENDED BECAUSE I SAID THIS! *hands cake, cookie and apple pie to you* I DO LIKE THE IDEA! DON'T BE MAD AT ME!
XD Hoped I help a little!