|Reviews for Hemner's|
| Guest chapter 8 . 11/19/2013
D: looking forward to more
| Stacie chapter 1 . 9/24/2013
Ah, my dear tashabelle. You please me yet again with wonderfully vivid words. Sigh, I love your work. 3
| Nique13 chapter 6 . 8/29/2013
Is he going to actually try to kill himself? What is wrong with Cedar? Why is he acting like that?
| Nique13 chapter 5 . 8/29/2013
Why can't he say no?
| DS chapter 8 . 8/18/2013
Ahh this is so good and so wonderfully written. I really hope you update soon, its so great xox
| evangasm chapter 8 . 8/10/2013
Oh my god, I need more of this. I love Cedar but was sort of hoping he'd get Evan because shit, there are just not enough of this kind of pushy men in the slash world. Unbelievably sexy. Loved it. Continue.
| Guest chapter 7 . 8/2/2013
weren't there 8 chapters before? were'd it go?
| blackouzel chapter 8 . 5/6/2013
I ADORE YOUR STORY.
Like most chapters, this one (8) made me laugh out loud several times, and yet you also had me on the edge of my seat when Cedric started in on Caleb. You balance humor and tension so well. All the flip-flops my stomach did were happy ones.
I love the sneaky little ways in which Eric/Jace's thoughts have begun to slide together.
-"girl fists" was an excellent line :D
-The way Rob talks and what he says is hilarious
-Caleb's complaints about being underage and wanting some action illustrate two things wonderfully: how much Mrs. H really cares, and also how clueless Caleb is about what potential romantic or sexual partners might want (from him).
This in turn builds toward something that has been sneakily developing inside of Eric over the last few chapters. He has begun to think mean thoughts at various characters not JUST because he's been emasculated, but because he is offended at how callously or brutally they treat him/others. Not long ago he was considering (albeit briefly) getting Cedar in trouble for harassment charges (because How Dare He "assault" Me), and it doesn't seem to have clicked that Eric himself is guilty of way worse, and by his own logic/judgment he SHOULD be in much bigger trouble than Cedar, and being turned into a fin is actually the LEAST of what he deserves.
I love that Eric/Jace currently holds two such strong-but-opposed beliefs. One goes something like "I can do whatever I want & it's not assault unless I say so (which I will not)" and the other is something along the lines of "assault is wrong, and depends more on the POV of the recipient than the doer, and people who don't take into account what their partner might be THINKING or FEELING are awful."
It's amazing that he's able to contain both these belief simultaneously. I think the only reason he is managing it now is because of the gravitonic pull of his ego: *I* can do whatever *I* want, and it's wrong for *other* people to ignore *my* feelings.
Still a delight to read. I can't wait to see how things shift as Eric/Jace start to merge and act with singular purpose.
| blackouzel chapter 5 . 5/5/2013
(Writing this late at night to forgive me if it is rambly or unstructured)
This story is *so* good and has made me laugh *so* hard, I just have to thank you for that, first. Somehow despite the mental acrobatics required to write Eric-as-a-fin, you've managed to create a character who is consistent enough in his voice that all the flip-flops in his mood and opinion don't feel disorienting. That takes skill!
I love the characters an their world. I especially love Cedar, and have been trying to figure him out. I'm fairly certain that he has worked as a prostitute at places other than Mrs. H's and I'm definitely getting the impression that (a) those were bad times, and that (b) he is worried about where he is in life right now. I'm a little bit scared that maybe he was underage for some of his sex work, because there seems to be a core of pain in there somewhere that he is deftly sidestepping most of the time. I also wonder if something Über Bad happened with his family/home. At any rate I sense that he's never really been doing as well as he seems.
Eric/Jace can already see through the fake smiles with fairly little effort, so I'm curious if he will be able to show us more about Cedar as things unfold.
Back to Eric- I can't wait until he finds his tongue (though I heartily approve of your move to keep that particular part of him tied up for the most part after his change, because clearly *listening* was never really within his abilities prior to that). I would love to see Eric blow up at someone who deserved it- something I think he always had the power to do (albeit wasted on his selfish ego while he was a gyuren). His newfound fin nature is not cooperating with the "destroy everyone who emasculated me" agenda, but I wonder if there are situations in which the fin psychology and physiology would rise up "on his side" to take on an opponent who stirred up hatred for a worthy reason.
I am also extremely curious if Eric's experience as a gyuren might invest him with some unrealized insights into the ego-fragility of other gyuren characters. They are so EASY to rile up. They are so DEFENSIVE (their poor inner feelings must be delicate indeed if they require such defenses). So this *also* makes me wonder if some buried, unguessed-at part of Eric has always needed/wanted permission to feel the way he feels right now as a fin and his predicament has granted that without (yet) forcing him to own it. Did the emotions come with the package, or did they just need to be unwrapped? I think Eric is trying way too hard to convince himself that it's the former, and I love that. Well done.
So these were just some thoughts you've managed to stir up in me while I've been reading. Your story is wonderful like that.
I will definitely be reading more, and writing more feedback.
| lightstheway chapter 8 . 5/4/2013
There is so much to adore about A Change of Race. The central idea, of Eric the man's man seeing what it's like for those he bullies, is a really gratifying one, and your loud supporting cast keeps it fun and funny. Your main character reminds me a lot of Gaston from Disney's Beauty and the Beast, which for comedic purposes is just priceless. I really want to see you keep going with this story! I don't know where you are in your creative process but here are my musings on ACOR and I hope they can springboard some ideas for you if you are feeling stuck.
I'm wondering about Eric's core development. As long as he can blame whatever happens to him and his new allies on the fin being too soft/gay/weak/feelings-y, he's not really going to grow from the experience, is he? I think you'd have to pit Eric/Jace in a mental/emotional conflict that Eric would probably have won as a gyuren, and you'd have to let Eric have his head. Of course, he'll lose-his opinions are not respected, now, the way they would have been. (For this to work, you really have to let him be in control-or he'll blame his failure on the fin crying too much, etc.)
Let him see how the very things that he was praised for as a gyuren are derided as "emotionality" and "bitchiness" in his new form. Let the house bullies call him a "stuck-up twat" for displaying a normal amount of self-esteem. Let his enemies seize on a small mistake as proof that he is stupid and worthless. Let the cooks scream at him for getting an order wrong! Let him be damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. Let him learn that women are socialized not to say no in order to protect *men's feelings.* Let him understand that every time he derided a woman for being a "bitch," she was just doing what he would've done in her shoes.
I would love it if one of the gyuren forced or blackmailed him into a sex act, even after Eric/Jace has refused many times. It would really show him the faulty logic of, "You like men, so you must want my cock! If you don't like it, it must be because you're 'uppity,' and my cock is the perfect solution!"
Eric the Bastard has been a really fun narrator, but after eight chapters I'm craving something a little different from the guy who's insulting all of the characters whom I actually like. And I REALLY LIKE a lot of your supporting characters. Actually, I'm dying to know what the deal is with Cedar, and I just wish Eric would show at least a little curiosity for curiosity's sake, even. That's basically what I am trying to say, actually: I really, really, REALLY want to see what happens with this story and I would not mind if you skipped ahead to the part where Eric starts to get it.
And oh yes, the naughty parts are fabulous and keep me coming back for more.
| Kilian Grey chapter 8 . 5/2/2013
It seems like it should be part of a larger chapter. Character development is a good thing, but I'm used to longer chapters so...
I guess I'm spoiled. Don't mind me...
Derrick does need his keys...
| blackouzel chapter 1 . 5/1/2013
This was so damn gratifying to read. I love Mrs. H; I want to know more about her. I love how Eric's sense of security turns out to be so immensely fragile that the loss of his physique crushes him. There aren't many things as pleasurable as watching an egoist get a proper deflating. I cannot wait to read more.
(By the way, what were your inspirations for the races in this?)
| Blood Perfume chapter 2 . 4/23/2013
I absolutely loved these two chapters! I will continue reading.
| Kilian Grey chapter 7 . 4/9/2013
Great chapter, love Cedar's personality so much, he's such a pollyanna!
| Kilian Grey chapter 6 . 4/7/2013
I was able to fall right back into this story without re-reading the end of the last chapter, always a good sign. Well written. Eric still hasn't got a clue though sometimes I think he's getting off a little lighter than he should. Still when he has a close call and escapes, it makes him more sure of his self-righteousness. Glad Mrs. H is keeping the heat on him. Love that old witch.
P.S. Please don't melt or we won't find out what happens next.