|Reviews for Summit|
| Guest chapter 3 . 7/23/2013
"You made bacon?"
And that, my friends, is how a mother wins the battle. xD
Holy crud! They are going through some crazy transformations over night! This is getting interesting! NEXT!
I must say. Calling oneself a sassy cunt and then condemning yourself for it is pretty funny. SASSY CUNT LOL
| Menn chapter 2 . 7/21/2013
It is okay, Lucas. I hate going to church with a passion too. Heck, that is why I stopped going! ;/ Hearing all of the anti-gay stuff from religious people sometimes made me proud I did not let all of that go into my head when I was little, but that is a little unfair for me to generalize all of the religious people. Sorry, religion rant!
I kind of like that idle and cute talk between Lucas and Angel. It is sort of pure, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE stories that emphasize falling in love scenes before the characters just start groping each other.
When the “LUKKKKEE” shriek happened, I was like, “Oh no, someone died and they have to find the murderer, and oh god this is getting serious.” because the story description was so serious! XD I love all of Luke's friends.
More Luke and Angel action. Angel's name is lovely ironic with that religion rant in the beginning. Of course Angel has to be sexy. Mmmm. And god dang that cliffhanger. AND? AND...?! And Angel rescues Luke, gives him his blood, and they become vampire lovers!
Keep going, babe! Can't wait to read the rest!
| Thorn Wild chapter 2 . 2/6/2013
I think you have an interesting plot idea here, and some cool characters. I do have a few concerns, though. I'm gonna PM them to you.
| Raaawr Ima Dinosaur chapter 2 . 1/29/2013
First of all, I think this story has potential. Don't worry about the lack of reviews because as a new writer, you can't expect many when you first post a story, no matter how irritating it feels. First of all, I feel that you may need to find a beta reader. Generally if you can ask around for beta's or, if you'd rather, you can click the beta option at the top of the page (beside search). I really feel that you should look into this because of some of the grammatical errors I found. I am also slightly concerned about your placement of periods (full stops). In some places, I've found that there should be a comma instead or even a semi-colon. I also feel that your plot is happening too fast. You should ease into it slightly.
Don't be ashamed about needing a beta reader because I use one myself. They can guide you and even give you techniques to improve your writing. No one is an expert in the beginning and many have had similar problems as you do. I know I did.
Ick, so sorry if this sounds a little harsh; I'm only giving you the critique you asked for. But I stand by what I said when I said that this has potential because it really does. You just need to work on the things I mentioned :)