Reviews for Covering up the cracks
Zhenny chapter 3 . 2/5/2013
While I like where the story is going, I was wondering if this is modeled to be another poetry-ish story? If not, then you have a bit of work to do with your formatting! :)

Formatting for short stories is a bit complex, but there's no need to follow every little rule. Make sure that you research it! From me to you, though, I recommend using larger paragraphs. As it is right now, your story looks like several sentences with an enter in-between each one. It makes your story look a bit messy... or more like a poem. :) You also missed capitalizing a few words that need to be capitalized, such as Andrew and the United States.

You're also creating a lot of incomplete sentences, such as at the end of Chapter 3 when Andrew says, "How. Because as a Garrott. I come from royalty."

If you separate each of these sentences, you'll see why it's not proper formatting. Just saying "Because as a Garrott" out loud sounds incomplete. What about being a Garrott?

Might I recommend formatting that section as such: "How? Because as a Garrott, I come from royalty."

Don't worry too much about getting that perfect, either! It's a lot of independent/dependent clause nonsense that is very difficult for a lot of people (and writers) to grasp. I didn't learn it until college. / Just make sure that you recite your sentences aloud to see if they sound complete or not. If they are incomplete, connect them with a comma instead of a period. :)

Also, I was curious, where are Aura's parents during all of this, and how did Andrew get over to her home so quickly? Make sure to include a few more details to the story!

You have a very powerful talent for using beautifully flowing language, however, such as, "You are the ember that ignites my soul, the wind that makes my soul take flight". Clearly, above all else, you are a poet. Reading through some of your stories that you specifically state are sort of poems, I can see that you have an excellent understanding of poetry and a real talent for it. Stories such as these, though, are going to need a bit of work to make it look more like a story and less like a poem. :) You've got a passion for writing, though, so I have no doubt that you will continue to improve! Keep it up!

And remember that this is -creative- writing, so you do not have to follow every bit of advice, every suggestion, or every silly formatting rule. Some of the best stories arrange their words in an interesting way across the page to make a poetic point. :) Good luck!