A very solid second chapter! I was left wondering exactly what she did to the headmaster, as tells the (dead) guard that it was because she disrespected him, but that doesn't seem like enough, as she appears to be generally disrespectful.

Look forward to more!

This is a great start, and you set the stage for what seems like a very solid and interesting story. I especially love your section about the maze - knowing it was probably a trap, but desperately trying anyway.

Great job!

I love this introduction because of the deep darkness and compelling environment it creates. The writing style, and the protagonist go perfectly with each other. Some of the lines are just so incredibly compelling here, they won't be forgotten easily. The language is crude but not blistering, and adds to the raw power of this narrative.

Um. I really like it how to say? And there has been only one character so far! Katya.
I get the feeling that there will be a lot of very nice themes here related to emotions and the struggle to find right within a universe of wrong. You've created a harrowing, pressure cooker world, and I hope Katya's hard enough to survive it. I really feel for her struggle. She has to choose between holding her soul precious when no one else values it, when it causes such problems for her as well.

I'm interested to know what makes her different from all the others around her, whether she is someone special or had some life experiences which shaped her differently. I hope she finds friends quickly, but somehow I feel like her challenges are just beginning.

I was supposed to review this a long time ago (like a year ago), but failed to get to it well enough.

Your story is really great right now! i wish you had more chapters, but my guess you're still working on them. But it is awesome! I was lucky to have you mention your story!

I must admit you madam have one hell of a story right here! It very well written and well it's very interesting. I really did feel as if I was reading a novel when I read this chapter, all that was missing though was turning a physical page. I really did feel as if I was reading a book so Kudos on that!

It really has been a while since I have last read a dark story, and I had been craving one for a long time. I like how you step the setting. While it does have that of sci-fi/fantasy it still has a sense of realism as to the human aspect of your story. Yet I'm curious as to see how the character in this story will change throughout the course of this story.

Overall I have to say that I'm very impressed with your first chapter. It flowed really well, and it was entertaining to read. I'm looking forward to what you have show in the later chapters of this story!

Wow, have you edited this? It seems much better than the last time I read it. Katya's strong narration shows the horror of Dimension 1 quite vividly. Every image and memory cuts deep into the reader. The way her emotions are both dead, yet regretful, is very intriguing. Like she remembers feeling, and she wishes she could, but she just isn't capable anymore.

I wonder, have you changed any part of the plot? I remember vaguely what happens: the escape, the whorehouse, the reunion with her old 'friends'. Still, your writing style seems to have improved, and I look forward to reading it again. Good job on this!

Hello it is me again! Sorry I didn't review your other chapters that came out recently, too busy with Persona 4: The Golden, or work lol.

Well what can I say about this chapter? it was kind of...:
*sings with 9th symphony melody* "Exposition, Exposition, Rush it out, A,S, AP!"

Kidding. :P but seriously I did feel like that's pretty much what this chapter was; just a means to convey exposition. Clearly the President and Wayland are important characters, but I personally couldn't get behind an entire chapter with just them talking about how the President got to where he was. Personally, I felt there could have been much better ways to reveal this info to the readers, over time preferrably. For me at least, this is almost like the kind of thing the main characters might learn from the antagonists during a confrontation, you know, where he reveals his diabolical plan and/or origins to them. It's a cliche I know,but rushing out exposition has also been done to death and it rarely works, whereas a confrontation can more often be more exciting and creative.

With that said, There isn't anything inherently wrong with the chapter other than a few spelling and grammar errors, it's mainly down to personal opinion and my experience with stories. In alot of mediums that I've seen chapters with this much explaining are really just filler than can pull the reader out of the story. I personally think that it is better to give readers little chunks of info like this over the course of a few chapters when the setting and mood is appropriate. It was interesting to discover that Katya was born in America, and you did a great job when talking about the Dimensions, genetic mutations, etc, proving once again the maturity of your writing style. But I feel that you got all this info out waaaaay too early and too quickly. I think if we had just little samples of it over time you would build alot more suspense and draw readers in more. But atfer reading this, it feels like you deflated the "suspense baloon" if you will, and I felt kind of slowed down and less enthusiastic about it.

Personally, I think this is your weakest chapter; you have alot of interesting and creative ideas, and it can be tempting to try and express them to your readers as soon as you can cuz you want them to understand and feel it. But in my experience it is always better to take your time when weaving a story and bring this info to your readers in a methodical manner. That's just my opinion at any rate. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and where it leads.

Good luck!

P.S. did you get to the "endings?" And if so what did you think of them?

AH! This was/is amazing. I just love what happening! The detail is great, and this world you have created is amazing.

AMAZING! THIS FREAKING RULES!

Wow, this story just gets better and better! You really caught my attention, and with the cliffhanger ending, you've definitely got me waiting for more P. I have Katya will be able to go back to America.

Oh my. This is such a dark beginning to a story! I feel for Katya. She is very desriptive of her emotions and it makes it easy to see how she feels about something. Great writing! :)
-Lizzie Droll

the detail is great and i like how your character seems to speak directly at me...however i felt there was too much would be nice

I like how you allow the interaction between the narrator and us, the readers. It makes the story more life-like and excellent )

I must tell you that I am thoroughly enjoying this story. You have an ability to paint a picture with your words and I especially love Katya's attitude. Don't give up on this story it is wonderful. :D

Your story vaguely reminds me of the novel "1984" in that it's a dictatorial society and that no one can be trusted. I really enjoy this story. Please update!