|Reviews for One More Beat|
| Lolitroy chapter 1 . 11/28/2013
Edge... I knew this would have such an ending.
So we have this heartwarming story about a guy whose views on the world have been corrupted. Yet, when he meets this girl oen day, things change. They begin getting along ncicely, and he learns to value life... soon, she means more to him than he expected.
Then she dies.
Damn it, Edge...!
But he still learned the lesson. Gah. Dat ending. Just gah. Hope he becomes a doctor to save people though :)
| Boomer Kid chapter 1 . 6/3/2013
There's no surprise that a drama fan like me, would pick this as my first story of yours to read this Story Club week.
It's a great joy to read this. I can see your writing has greatly improved since you started out with FTTS and BGQG. This work, I can tell you've put heart into it (though I managed to catch 110 percent Angel Beats! inspiration!), and it is one that is relatable and emotionally rewarding.
I'm not even going to nitpick on anything or bother giving constructive critique.
I encourage everyone to read this. This is a great, uplifting piece.
| Eri Rein to Ero-sama chapter 1 . 6/3/2013
I have a soft side in these kinds of story. Stories filled with feels. Stories that makes me smile despite the sad feel in it. Not because I find it funny, but because it touches me. And this story of yours is one of those.
First off, I would like to thank you for writing this one shot and offering it to the readers and writers of FictionPress. It was a smooth ride.
I feel the main character (Yusei). I myself is a recluse (during vacation only) and almost see the world in its most negative side. These kinds of characters in a story, anime or manga is what I like the most. Those who stay away from the cliche personalities of a main character in a slice-of-life story. Thus, Yusei is an admirable character for me.
As for Kie, well she's one pitiful character. As much as I hate to say this, I hate those kinds of characters because they make me cry. Though of course I'm not saying that you portrayed her badly. It's actually nice. (TvT)
As for the whole story, it was an enjoyable ride and the things are pointed-out straight with enough details to support it. Though the development was somehow too fast, but that's okay. Though I would like it if there were more scenes with them together, building up their relationship before Yusei confessed.
And the ending was quite normal. After he met someone, he changed, he moved on, he decided to try once again. Not really bad, though it's kinda typical and with that kind of ending, I can somehow make my own predictions about how will he go with his life.
And that ends my review. Overall, it was one of the best story I've read from you so far, despite being a one-shot. I always look around FP for these kinds of stories.
Ahh... the feels. You should be writing more of this, Edge! I didn't know you were this good in writing romance! Hands down to you, shisho... OTL
| DevilPogoStick chapter 1 . 5/25/2013
Wow, such a powerful tale. There is a bittersweet ending note as we are unsure of Yusei's future, if he will succeed with his goal thanks to Kie's short but meaningful presence in his life.
But the fact she gave him a reason to move on from his rut at the beginning was amazing which made her fate so tragic.
Keep up the works Edge! You're doing great!
| cmaej chapter 1 . 5/25/2013
After getting a taste of FTTS, I wouldn't have expected such a deep and touching one-shot from you, Edge. This story was so sweet and sad, and it even had a morale people today should pay attention to. If you watch five seconds of any reality show, you get it. So many people bitch and whine about petty shit when they are actually much more better off that thousands of others.
So Yusei's supermodel girlfriend broke-up/cheated on him. Boo-hoo. It's just sad that Kie had to die for Yusei to get the spirit to move on.
I don't quite understand the compatibility test for the heart transplant, though. Won't Yusei had to die first before he could help Yie as a donor? Or is this setting a made-up world which they would had killed him right away if he was willing?
The best part about this story is that it wasn't too emo. It had well-place comedic moments such as Yusei stepping on Kie withouth noticing. Thanks for the good read.
| kingofe3 chapter 1 . 5/20/2013
This is a wonderfully made one shot. Not long, quick to the point, and heartwarming. I'm glad Yusei found purpose in life again, I'm sad Kei didn't get to live her life fully, but happy she met someone who cared for her life, and I'm pleased to have read this.
| HerCrimsonTears chapter 1 . 2/1/2013
Wow..I loved it. [And hated it cuz it was so sad..lol]
This story was kind of different from your normal writing style, and it was really refreshing. Thanks for the story, Edge!
| Katsurou Shimizu chapter 1 . 1/29/2013
Curse you Edge! This has Angel Beats written all over it!
But seriously, the romantic in me loved it. And I can relate somewhat because of the mistakes I did in the past, and forsaking myself for a period of time while back in college.
Somewhere, I had wished there was a girl I could help, or anyone basically; a life I could give because I was so damn worthless at that time.
That is why Angel Beats got to me, and broke me down.
And that is why this story broke me down again.
| Honeycloud of RiverClan chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
[Hah! Thought I'd say that did you?]
You're missing a comma.
[Well, I didn't figure it out myself actually.]
I think there's another missing comma...
| ScarletRose7865 chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
Ouch. I think my heart was just ripped out...I love it! Fast paced, gritty, emotional...my kind of story. Thanks for the read :)
check out my book if you have time too. its my first attempt at writing one
| Yuuenchi chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
This one is definitely a stomach puncher. I'm glad Yusei was able to recover purpose in his life, but sad that it had to come at the expense of Kie. On the other hand, Kie was able to do an amazing thing with her life in just meeting Yusei and returning him to the world. I wonder though though if just a one-day meeting is enough to break through the scabs that Yusei has surrounded himself with, even if you mean Kie to be the antithesis of the girl in the photograph.
You could almost fit into the Manga category, but I suppose Romance also works, though it seems more like a relationship fic than a romance proper.
Aside from a brief flurry of typos in the 8th paragraph down (counting the "clicks" as paragraphs) it's very smooth flowing story. Keeping it in the active-present tense helps even more. I call this story a success for your first outing.