Reviews for Be Still My Heart
Alaeryel chapter 5 . 2/26/2013

You asked for any sneak peaks and I will let you pick for me-TOTALLY DYING FOR ANY OF THEM!
cloned chapter 6 . 2/24/2013
This started up a little slow for me, but I'm loving it now. I love her attitude and Aragorn's sexy! Please update soon :)
Fair to Midland my children chapter 6 . 2/24/2013
Aragon is my favorite character and I love how feisty deidra is. Awesome chapter next one please:)
WarriorArnelle chapter 5 . 2/20/2013
Huh. I actually like this Aragorn, although the Lord of the Rings fan in me is NOT happy about that name appearing somewhere else... :P either way, this is getting more and more interesting by each chapter, although you could still stand to include more detail, to really SHOW the reader what you want them to see rather than TELL , which is what I've been seeing a lot of in here.

Either way, it's an interesting little yarn that I'm curious about :) good luck with future chapters!
WarriorArnelle chapter 2 . 2/20/2013
First thing: your descriptions of the demons and their homes, while necessary, is remarkably boring... it takes away from the overall intent of the chapter, so... perhaps combine your descriptions of those things with some dialogue? It would explain more of the interactions between the characters, and it would make the explanations more interesting to the reader.

Second: WOW this chapter starts fast... Maybe it is supposed to, but up until about halfway through, I thought we were talking about a completely different character rather than the girl that was introduced in the last chapter. When I did realize that, I was REALLY confused for a minute...

Also, perhaps to help the reader understand which part of this is memory and which part is the present, you could italicize the part that is a memory or flashback? That was a teensy bit confusing, as well.

You could also stand to, again, include a little more detail. I can see the emotions if I squint, but... based on what the scene is (specifically, that last one where Dee defends her friend), it could use a lot more. Make the reader FEEL what the characters do through detail and description. for example, instead of: "Before I could speak, Master Tao started whipping her. I screamed at him to stop, but he just started hitting her harder. I climbed shakily to my feet, unsure how it was even possible."

"Before I could get a word through my suddenly-tight throat, our Master brought the whip down on her unprotected body. As she tried to scream and couldn't, the lump in my throat vanished and I begged him to stop. It didn't work; he only hit her harder. Adrenaline rushed through me, and, privately wondering how it was possible with the pain I was in, I stood on shaky legs."

See what I mean?

but, anyway, this is an interesting story, and I'm still curious to see where you're going to take it!
WarriorArnelle chapter 1 . 2/20/2013
Interesting start here. You've certainly got me intrigued: what happened to her friend, what's going to happen to her?

One thing I would suggest is, perhaps, give the reader a little more to chew on as far as imagery goes. You've got some good description going, but it always helps to really SHOW the reader what you're trying to say rather than simply TELL, if that makes any sense :) The only other thing I'd say would be to try different sentence structures. You seem to favor the "independent clause, comma, conjunction, independent clause" structure a lot, so maybe try to shake that up a bit and throw a few others in there.

All in all, though, good start, and i'm interested in seeing where you take it from here!
Fair to Midland my children chapter 5 . 2/17/2013
Omg I LOVE this story so far!
Alaeryel chapter 4 . 2/14/2013
OH MY GOODNESS-she jumped from the frying pan into the fire now and you left me BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS wanting to know what is gonna happen! I LOVE THE DOG THO! GREAT JOB AS USUAL GIRL!
Alaeryel chapter 3 . 2/7/2013
OMG Des-LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED IT-as ALWAYS! Oh I do hope they make it but that would be too easy I think! I really couldn't tell you which one I like best-I think they both are brilliant and so different to one another! I DIE FOR THESE STORIES!
Guest chapter 1 . 2/2/2013
I have to say, before I read this that your summary is amazing. I'm a sadist so it is really appealing to me and I want to continue.
Alaeryel chapter 2 . 2/1/2013
I AM HEAD OVER HEELS ALREADY! I have read a few with strong female character and I love them! I nearly DIED when she kissed Alex to shut him up and ROLLED IN LAUGHTER when they told her about kisses! Des-ANOTHER AMAZING, EXCEPTIONAL, ASTOUNDING STORY!
Guest chapter 2 . 2/1/2013
I like it continue. I would like to see how the story develops. Update soon!
EatMoreBread chapter 1 . 1/27/2013
Very interesting story so far, very suspenseful. I can't wait to read on.
starchild8790 chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
ahh! I love it already. I think its about werewolves. Can't wait to read more.
Raya47 chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
LIke your story :)
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