|Reviews for The Charming Life of Margery Miller|
| kat-a-tat-tat chapter 2 . 1/18
I really like the writing style & voice of Margery. She has a very entertaining take on the different situations, and as previously stated, she does have a very unique voice.
However, the dialogue isn't realistic and rather cliched, and it feels as though there are too many exclamation points. Actual teachers would not up-front address their students like that, and there's more telling than showing.
Other than that, interesting start to the story.
| Lolitroy chapter 1 . 9/3/2013
Can't say I wasn't attractewd by the summary ;)
I don't like Mrgery much. She just seems too broody and complains a lot -w-' but it's just the first chapter so... meh. It was funny though ;)
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/27/2013
Everything is so outrageous.
| Jalux chapter 1 . 6/1/2013
The strongest part of this was you managed to give a lot of life and character to Margery Miller which really draws the reader into the story and actually makes them care about your main character which is something I always like in a story.
However I do think there's a little too much exposition, something like this
["After school I spent several hours playing games with Lucy in the dark flashy game room."]
feels lazy to me, I feel you could flesh it out a bit more, have a reason for the arcade. It just keeps the reader's interest up.
Apart from that I feel the ending hook is sufficient, you've given the reader enough reason to go on to see how Margery Miller's story will turn out so solid chapter overall.
| Sarah-Brighteyes chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
Interesting piece. Parts were really humorous while laying thick on the raunchy side. Are you continuing? or is this a one-shot spoof of a girl with a ridiculous amount of insane ppl in her life. I like her. I like the character. You make her raw and non-chalant about eventually becoming a serial killer lol.