|Reviews for I want to wake up where you are|
| The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 2/9/2013
Is the title supposed to be distinct from the poem or the first line of it? If the latter, I'd recommend separating the title and repeating it as the first line, and if the former then there should be a paragraph break in between. Reading that first stanza, I don't think the title goes into continuity with the next line, so I'm inclined to think that there should be a paragraph break there.
I really like your metaphors, particularly the one of the pill bottle in the first stanza as that's quite a unique image. The empty pill bottles are usually characterised to suicide, but you've put a new spin on it by delving deeper and scratching the heart as opposed to the surface. I also love the dusk-fire and dawn-breath, but that's more a personal preference I think. You've got really beautiful imagery though.
I also like the restlessness of the tone in this fic; your writing becomes harder and more defined as I continue reading, until I feel you're directly speaking out in the last few paragraphs as opposed to mulling about in reminiscence in the beginning. It does a good job in building up the scene into a moment of realisation.
| rust phoenix chapter 1 . 2/1/2013
You have truly beautiful emotion and imagery in your writing.
| Sarah-Brighteyes chapter 1 . 1/31/2013
Beautiful contemporary piece! I love the flow and imagery! Fav piece I have read tonight! Bravo!