Reviews for Newborn
Skye Hawthorne chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
Super great. Reincarnation seems like a used topic, but the author really managed to make it fresh and enjoyable.
Unweighted Book Author chapter 1 . 3/9/2013
Pretty interesting concept here. Resurrection is a topic that's rarely broached in such a manner, and it's a nice change of pace to see it in a commercial setting compared to the usual ideas associated with it. The idea of those who get addicted to dying, and the description of the process itself are also all very interesting. Overall, this is one of the better pieces I've seen, in terms of premise. It's nice to see that since I feel as though many FP stories aren't overly concerned with presenting a very innovative idea.

I think this story really displays the strength and weakness of your style very well. Your writing always places high priority on effect, pulling the reader in and capturing his attention. The use of second-person narrative, the conversational tone, the powerful descriptions - these tools all work for that purpose, and you do it really well. On the other hand, this type of writing is akin to a car that's always running at max speed - it's fast and exciting, but you run out of gas quickly. The effect of this kind of writing can't be expected to last forever, and that's why I think you favor short stories, because they are such a good fit for this style of writing. The associated problems accompany that, however. There's a lack of clarity and development because you don't have as many words to work with, and while it's not a bad idea to leave things to the reader's imagination, this can be off-putting to certain readers. Just something that I thought I'd highlight.
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 1 . 2/2/2013
Really fascinating concept here. Honestly, I expected something a little more metaphorical, based off of the summary - the possible directions to go with "the first time is always the worst" are all but limitless as far as I can tell - and at first I guess I was a little disappointed that the opening felt more like a description of shock after a scene from an action movie. After that, though, when I realized it was about actual resurrection, my interest snapped back into place.

I think my favorite snippet is the idea that one could get addicted to dying. I feel like I could spin a whole novel off of that, it opens up so many possibilities and so many possible complications...it could be amazingly fun to work with. It makes me wonder what kinds of people would succumb to that addiction, and what kind of a society as a whole would result with a system like this where resurrection is a reality and death is a drug.

As often happens with your stuff, I'm left feeling a little underfed as far as explanations go, though. You almost always manage to present a great skeleton - a really fascinating glimpse of a world - but the piece is so short that it feels incomplete, and I wish it dug deeper into the concepts it presented. Still. Very inspiring as a whole, and if I ever write a story years on down the road about resurrection dealers and death addicts, I will be sure to credit you. :P

- Moonstar
Whirlymerle chapter 1 . 2/1/2013
I really like how this piece gets progressively darker and darker. I think you control the tone and the feed of info very well, and deliver it all in a really great chippy and hale narrative voice. The addiction aspect is really original concept, and since no one knows what happens after you die, it's really thought provoking.

There were some details that intrigued me that I wish were more fully realized. The idea that "as long as you keep paying us" for example. I like the conditional aspect of it as one indication that the place isn't all lovely. It made me think that maybe the hotel gets "payment" from their patients' addictions (because what else could they pay with). It's something that stuck out for me that I wish could be connected a little more to the rest of the pieces going on in the story.
lookingwest chapter 1 . 2/1/2013
I liked the comparison of resurrection with newborn life and the baby-deer analogy because I thought it worked well to convey a point a sympathy from the reader and also provided some good imagery along the way that I think is particularly successful. I like the playfulness of this piece, and things came together really well in the end - which I wasn't expecting when I first started reading due to some of the abstractions that were arising on who the narrator might be. I think the narrator makes sense, but would agree with Lyra about intention in it - is this supposed to be an advertisement or someone just mocking the system on the other-side-of-the-glass-wall type deal... It does make you think.

The concept's really original though, and I liked that you added the bit about addiction because I thought that took the tension to the next level and complicates the characterization of the "you". I could definitely see this kind of concept working in a larger narrative somewhere, so there's some fun stuff to expand on if you wanted to do world-building in another story - I think that flexibility is also cool. One of my favorite pieces I've read from you in awhile!
Nesasio chapter 1 . 1/31/2013
Stylistically, I'm a little confused why this is presented so obliquely. I can understand making it that way for the reader, to up the mystery. That makes it sort of fun. But in-story it's effectively a tour or brochure, a way of letting someone know what the company offers and in that sense it fails at explaining much. If the narrator gave ME this explanation I would not be signing up. I'd probably glare at them and ask to talk to someone else who would speak plainly. This is, after all, life or death on the line. It's important to keep the big picture in mind when presenting a story this way.

That said, I did like the description of what the experience feels like. The baby deer comparison was cute but also easy to understand. I could picture someone in that delicate, wide-eyed state right away, and sympathized/could imagine how that would feel. I think calling back to that toward the end really tied this together.