Reviews for Take My Pride
DawnSister chapter 8 . 3/25/2013
I will definitely check out that story thanks for the tip.
Corey's need was very obvious to me but perhaps because my characters have similar attributes: seeming to have everything, seeming successful but their pasts make them vulnerable and when you scrape the surface their is a very needy, vulnerable young man.
This chapter was good. Things seem to have settled down but I can somehow tell that this is the calm before the storm. Things have got to come to a head with Mitch and his family. There is no Waterbury can avoid scrutiny for much longer. They got lucky when Mitch fell ill.

With Corey it is only a matter of time before he either gets seen and lapped or he implodes from extreme loneliness.

DS
S.H. Marr chapter 8 . 3/25/2013
I think I realized what annoyed me so much about Amanda analyzing Mitch last time: your characters all sound the same. When Nick was talking to Mitch about his face, it was the exact same pattern as Amanda. "Name, subject of paragraph...more coherent anaysis." And that sounds weird the way I wrote it, but you should mix that up. Nick and Amanda shouldn't sound the same (And I still think they both sound a lot like Erin, and probably a bunch of characters fom other stories I can't think of right now. But I think I recognize this from you other places).
marginal-utility chapter 8 . 3/25/2013
Even if Mitch does bareback only when he is desperate, its really risky. Cory should make a deal with him that he rents him every night, and that they start an exclusive prostitute-client arrangement. Both would be safer that way. The way Cory tries to get it from everyone, he is in serious risk too.
falling-into-fate chapter 7 . 3/19/2013
"I have to pay someone for them to even pretend that they want me for me." Oh my god. I feel SO bad for Corey. I literally almost cried in the library at school when I read that line. Thanks for that, lol. I'm also really starting to like Lance. He's just so... Cool. I mainly just can't wait to figure out how Corey and Mitch will cross paths again. More so how they will develop actual omfg-I-need-you-in-my-life feelings for each other, if you know what I mean. Mitch just seems like he has this huge wall that blocks off others from getting into his heart, besides his siblings... So it's hard to imagine how it could happen. I'm thinking that Corey will be on the hunt for Mitch soon, but I could be wrong. It's be cool if Mitch is the one who runs into him and remembers him. But I guess we'll all just have to wait and see.

Sorry for rambling. Can't wait for the next update, I love this!
foreveran chapter 7 . 3/19/2013
They are both so broken in their own way and they need to develop a strength within themselves before they can fully love each other (when the romance begins) or else it will be like any other love story where they gain strength with there love which is unrealistic, I mean don't get me wrong I love those types of stories I'm such a sap and I just want the main couple to be finally be together. But like this with Mitch and Corey its realistic and such nice character development and you root for them to get stronger and defeat their inner turmoil that when they do get together its so much more gratifying in the long run. I really like Mondays just because I can look forward to reading this story :)
Skyless11 chapter 7 . 3/19/2013
I liked this chapter. Corey is really love-able and his friends care for him a lot... I think (hope) this break-up was what will change him and that he'll show more attention to the next guy (who I suppose is none other than Mitch). Can't wait to see next chapter :D
Raaawr Ima Dinosaur chapter 7 . 3/18/2013
Poor Joey, he just can't get a break. I honestly wouldn't mind if Joey and Corey got together, but Joey's straight (?) and probably more of a father than anything to Corey (ignoring the fact that Corey tries to jump him when heartbroken). Great chapter, I totally can't wait for the next :)
Raaawr Ima Dinosaur chapter 6 . 3/18/2013
Those poor kids. I can't imagine how scary it would have been for them, not knowing where Mitch was. Great chapter.
Astir-Lewis chapter 7 . 3/18/2013
I actually like Joey a lot :) Yeah, he's pretty epic, cause he's just amazing. Corey is starting to get on an equal level with Mitch. Anyway, love this story and it's pretty amazing. But yeah, awesome :D
DawnSister chapter 7 . 3/18/2013
Oh, I'm glad you told me that the next chapter could involve a converging of the two stories. It was beginning to feel like two separate entities and whilst they both stand alone as good stories, without the other, I presume your aim is for Corey and Mitch to at least meet again. It is good to have such a build up though, so that when the pieces do finally fit together there are a lot of solid reasons behind it and it makes it more realistic.
There are plenty of stories out there where down and out meets rich kid and they live happily ever after but few that have such good character build ups.
This reminds me of a film I love, although the characters' situations are very different, there is still a big family element: Shelter, if you have heard of it or seen it. The characters meet, things seem hopeless, responsibilities prevent them being together, but they work it out.
Corey and Mitch are far from being like Zach and Shaun in Shelter, but I get that same feeling when I read about them as I did when I watched Shelter. There was a hopelessness yet also a warmth and sense of safety and protection when they came together: why the movie was called Shelter I suppose.
Corey could be Mitch's Shelter, and vice versa of course, because Mitch is not the only one that needs to be protected and sheltered here.

DS
Cooki chapter 6 . 3/15/2013
I love this story! Its one of the few incomplete ones that I've been reading as its updated. You are a super awesome author!
Astir-Lewis chapter 6 . 3/12/2013
God, I love Mitch! I can't wait till they get back in the same area. Anyway can't wait til' next chapter!
foreveran chapter 6 . 3/11/2013
I think (hope) that Mitch will allow Nick and his wife to keep the children in their house even thought he is independent, I think for his siblings he would rather they stay in safer household but its just a thought I hope he seriously considers it in the later chapters. Can't wait for next week! :)
DawnSister chapter 6 . 3/11/2013
Maybe things are looking up for this family (and I'm not including the mother in this in the vain hope that she is out of the picture).
This chapter was hard to read because it just seems things can't get any better for these guys. Then they end up in a new place with someone willing to look after them. Will it last? I don't know. I can just hope and wait for the next chapter and the converging of the lives of the two main characters even though I can't see how this is going to happen without some sort of miracle. I guess that's for you to conjure up and for me to read in wonder, as I always do with your stories. They're always so cleverly constructed.

DS
Vega Nightshade chapter 6 . 3/11/2013
O God, Ah... It seriously almost got me crying. That's how life tends to work, though, for many people. I really love the family aspect of this story. It makes it more wholesome, realistic and even though it actually hurts thinking about it and then again and again remembering that things like that happen, I can't give it a rest and read. Mitch and his sense of obligation and love for his siblings is just... uh... Can't really describe it properly.
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