|Reviews for Wrong Place Wrong Time|
| Jackson Farrow chapter 2 . 2/24/2013
I liked this chapter as well, the pace was good, kept me as the reader involved throughout, great job.
| readerstoryguy chapter 1 . 2/20/2013
Thank you for the reply, I just joined and look forward to reading both this and "The Hunter", can't wait for the next Chapter.
Being that I just joined, it does not yet allow me to PM you and say I love the Chapters, so I will have to use the public forum until my 24 hours are done.
There is a story I am working on, I hope you can critique my story once I get Chapter one and the eventually the prologue done...
| AquariusGirl230191 chapter 1 . 2/20/2013
Thanks for the comment. Unfortunently since you left the review as Guest I couldn't message you via PM so I have to reply here. I appreciate your thoughts :) I put "the hunter" as I didn't want to ruin the revelation of who said serial killer was in the first book (spoil it for those who haven't read it yet) but I agree it does seem unnatural. It's still in draft stages yet so I'll take your comments on board :) The Hunter is found on amazon kindle - search google / amazon kindle for "The Hunter ebook Vicky Cox" - You'll find it :)
| Guest chapter 2 . 2/20/2013
Okay, after reading Chapter One and loving Chapter Two, I only have the bare minimum of comments, aside from the fact that I think this is fantastic.
I don't know much about police work, much less Canadian police, but I imagine that police officers home life is pretty much wake up work work work, eat sleep, work work work. I find the wine and chocolate cliché. Maybe start with something else, but have a craving for the chocolate and then wine... (just saying)
In the sentence "her brother-in-law Mark was shot in the head by the serial killer The Hunter" would it be best to use the serial killers real name. I think of the how a cop would refer to the perpetrator. (I have not read your first book, but after reading this, it's a will do.) I get that you are giving us backdrop, but a name seems better to use. I feel like I can make that leap without the title
The only other comment I have is the "Almost got that on my shoes!" I dislike". It doesn't seem to fit in with the scene. Seems cheeky to have the bad guy say that, but I like "Stupid bitch!" by itself.
I look forward to reading more and the first book... if I can find it, where do I find it!?
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/20/2013
DANG GREAT BEGINNING!
| Jackson Farrow chapter 1 . 2/11/2013
I loved your opening chapter, starting with the leisurely pace you set in the beginning to the pulse pounding conclusion of the chapter. Overall a great start to what I think will be a wild ride. Now to a couple of minor technical things.
extremely large grey stone, this is redundant, you just need large in that sentence.
About her paperwork I think extensive works better than intensive, but that's just me.
"once satisfied that they were sealed in, they ordered that the shutters be closed on the windows."
In this sentence you could remove the words that and have a more powerful sentence. IMO. Like I said excellent first draft and I can't wait ti read on.