Reviews for Argos
lookingwest chapter 1 . 2/11/2013
Opening - After reading through the entire thing, I had to go back to remind myself what the opening was - I don't think it was as memorable as the end. But in that regard, I do like how you start with the image of Paul smoking and the snow. I liked the dialogue exchange between Cashel and Paul too - I thought it was well written. It had a good cadence and intriguing subject that made me want to learn a bit more about Paul.

Character - I don't really like Paul as a person/narrator. He reminds me of Raymond Carver's narrators a bit - kind of secret assholes who keep to themselves. He wasn't very nice to Kitty or likable in that since, and he had weird generalizations about women liking animals that die - but that foreshadowed the end well. I think you did a good job crafting the unlikable narrator. That's a skill within itself, and it's achieved well here. It's more in his actions and I liked that quality.

Enjoyment - Overall, I liked this piece. I think you did a good job weaving back and forth between Paul and Kitty & Paul and Cashel. That's really the showcase technique of this piece in the writing and I didn't have trouble following it. I remember - I think you're the guy who liked stream-of-consciousness stuff, yeah? The flow of this was reminiscent of that technique. I also enjoyed the motifs you were able to string through the piece too - the sheep, the buddha, the rabbits. There was a motif of small creatures in this that was interesting to follow and see woven into the narrative.

Ending - Enjoyed the ending - I think it came about quite naturally, especially when we get so much dog imagery earlier in the piece with the Labrador and the rabbits. Everything seemed to come together thematically at the end and I liked the grizzly image of the dog still half-alive after the accident. It was chilling and compelling. I almost wonder if the last line should be its own paragraph for some extra punch, but generally I think your last closing paragraphs work well.

When got back he had known - typo